when i don’t know him anymore
tonight i was lining the kids up for baths and thinking again that i should really do a “how i do what i do” post on bathing in our house, when i got to my oldest child. a boy. i went ahead and washed his hair and his feet (flip-flops and the park leave their mark) since i had run a full bath for the others and we were likely going to run out of hot water and definitely out of time before bed for his very own shower that he now takes all the time. i then handed him the soap and told him to “finish up.” he stood and turned around to wash. when did this happen? when did this child that i knew every dimple, every flaw, every perfection begin to turn into a stranger?
and of course, the answer is: a little at a time. when he no longer wore diapers, no longer needed help dressing, wiping, buckling his seatbelt, washing his hands. and i’m aware (acutely so) that it will continue along this path until i wonder who it is that stands before me.
i recognize it in the ones coming up after him, as well. they are slowly becoming the people i’m striving so hard to get them to be. my sweet second child that i, somehow assumed would never get big, is. my girl, who is just coming out of diapers, is taking her first strides into independence. and i’m a little sad at the loss of the knowledge of every aspect of their little lives. even as i celebrate their bigness each step of the way.
may i continue to walk that line of parenting carefully and mindfully and joyfully.
I know.. I saw Madison’s little “butterfly” birthmark below her belly button the other day and it nearly made me cry.. I had almost forgotten she had it. I can’t even imagine how it will be 10 years from now.
so sweet……….
Awww…I feel your pain. My oldest son is 6-years old and he “needs his privacy” to dress and potty now. I wasn’t ready for that!! They grow up TOO FAST!! He is in the 90th percentile for height, and I just know he’s gonna be too tall to sit on my lap before I know it.
By gosh, I wish time would just stop sometimes.
Hey–thanks for stopping by my blog! I’d be honored to be linked to yours!
I linked over from Jennifer Felio’s blog and read this post and cried and cried… I actually cried and cried last night before bed thinking about all of these things and then happened upon your blog this morning. My husband came by and told me to click on the little X and quit crying:)
Such sweet and true thoughts you’ve written here.
Aw! They grow up so fast don’t they? It is bittersweet. I know exactly how you feel.
oh stop it! I’m getting all emotional! I hate just did bath tonight and had a similar experience! Let’s stop the growth process…is that possible?
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