I’ve worked out the drama of all our sicknesses on Facebook, gotten advice, and bemoaned our bad luck there.  One month ago we got a fever virus.  Where we ran 103 degree fevers for 4 days each, spreading slowly and finally working through our entire family over the course of 2 weeks.

Then 10 days later my girl got so very sick that I took her into the ER for what I feared was meningitis.  Which turned out to be strep.

Then 7 days into her treatment of strep BigMan began throwing up.  Nonstop.  For 12 hours.  And The Oldest threw up.  Both with severe body aches and a very low grade fever.  Then it spread to The Baby and then to Matt and onto me.  Missing My Girl and The Middlest.  I had people on fb praying for us, giving suggestions, offering help, and asking what on earth were we doing wrong that our children (and us) would be getting so sick so often.  I went to the doctor to see if the latest round was an extension of My Girl’s strep, I was swabbed.  (side note: I haven’t been to a doctor since giving birth, I just don’t go, but I thought if I had it, then I would swab each and every one of my children and get our whole family of 7 on antibiotics at once).  I was negative.  I discussed my concerns with the doctor.  I told her I keep a decently clean house, I homeschool 5 small children under 10, I recently moved to the city from the middle of nowhere and joined every social club available when before we were basically our own social club, I asked if our tonsils should be looked at, if we should be on vitamins and certain supplements, I told her we getting weary and worried with all the sickness.  She was not concerned, said it sounded normal for our circumstances, encouraged and reassured.

In the midst of all this our children were in their first ever Christmas Children’s Choir and our Cates’ family Christmas get together were the same weekend.  I prayed and prayed that we would be well by the weekend.  We got well by Friday in time for me cook and shop for the weekend and we had a blast Saturday with my family and thought we were in the clear for the Christmas program at church.  And then late Saturday night My Middlest started throwing up.  Nonstop.  So MyMiddlest and my husband missed all our family coming for the first Christmas program.  Heart breaking.  I cried all morning.  Part of me missing, my poor sickly baby and sweet husband.  Ugh.  And I cried over how sweet and wonderful the other 2 big kids were on the stage.  And I cried over friends and family coming to see them.  And I cried over the amount of cleaning I had to do when I got home.

At the same time my husband and BigMan began having lower stomach disturbances.  And my youngest now has the same lower stomach issues.  And my youngest and BigMan have runny noses.

So what’s going on?

That’s what we’ve asked ourselves for weeks now.  I have analyzed my every parenting and housekeeping and cooking move.  I have considered the water, the carrier monkeys that are our new friends, lowered immune systems, and my failure to be a good mom by not pumping everyone full of Vitamin D and C.  I have become downhearted by it.  I have doubted my every move.  Matt and I have gotten short with one another.  That will happen you know, when you do all you can, everyone’s tired, and the housework (read: laundry and added cleaning) is piling up.

All of these are the answers.  And yet, I feel like none of them are.

I feel like the real issue at hand is that we submitted to God a few months back and moved into a dark place.  Our good story began there.  And we have prayed for our neighbors, looked for opportunities to minister in our community and asked God to use us the way He wants.  We came excited and with determined hearts.  So the one sure fire way to knock us out of the game of reaching those around us, the way to extinguish our lights is to keep us home, focused on us, bickering amongst ourselves.

I believe the real reason for all the random constant sicknesses is attack.  I do.  From the enemy.  From Satan.  I know I sound as crazy as a betsy bug to you, and I assure you I am the same goofy Suzanne from The Joyful Chaos that you have always read, but I feel like this is an issue bigger than teaching my kids to wash their hands.

So I come to you asking for prayer.  That we would be well.  That we would be encouraged and fall on our knees before our God.  That we would accept that He loves us, that He doesn’t want us miserable.  That we would seek Him in all this.  That we would be strong in Him.  That we would be knit together as a family and that our hearts would be one.  That we would not listen to the whisperings of the enemy when he says we aren’t doing what’s right, that we are inadequate in all ways.  I come, again, asking for prayer.

For where 2 or 3 are gathered in my name there am I with them.   ~Matthew 18:20