Lovin’ this ~ that I discovered from Brandy.  Click on the image below to see where this carnival originated and to read a bunch of other people who are being brutally honest and living to tell about it.  As for me, I would never blog about my failures as a mom.  Not me.  Never.

I did not get up Friday and decide to go to town with everybody.  I would never put my children in the van buckled up to keep them from destroying everything in sight, and then proceed to call a friend while desperately searching for the shut-off bills I had to pay and haphazardly applying make-up.  Not me.  I so was not surprised to hear them yelling at each other in the van.  I did not neglect to feed my children before leaving the house on the justification that I could stop and get some food since there was little to nothing in the house to eat anyway.  I then did not leave the house 3 1/2 hours after getting up which, for us, equals naptime.  I did not contemplate whether their first meal of the day would be Little Caesar’s or the gas station buffet.  Little Caesar’s so did not win out.  I did not count pennies to the bill paying center to cover the $0.75 fee.  I do not line my children up by age behind me and make them walk like a little line of ducks when they’re being rambunctious in the store.  I did not have a cashier explain to me how she used to have her grandchildren put their hands behind their backs when they were in line and how it worked like a charm with them.  I did not want to say, “Really?  Huh, That’s a novel idea.”  and yet just sweetly smile and nod.  While I was discussing spices with a small shop tender, my toddler did not dig around in my ear and then say for all to hear, “I yike… EARS!”  I did not impulsively buy $21.00 worth of spices.  I would never take all of them into the material department of WalMart and expect them to be still and quiet while I peruse all the lovely colors for 40 minutes.  I did not melt into an embarrassed puddle in the check-out line while my almost 2 year old flopped himself sideways in my arms, aiming for my boobs (I would never say that word on the internet) and yelled “NUHRSE!  I ONNA NUHRSE!”  We did not then end our day with the gas station leftovers anyway, finished off with ice cream cones and fudge poptarts.  I then would never question why my children were still running around like crazy people an hour after their bedtimes while I used a circular saw inside.my.bedroom to try to make a shelf for my closet.

Whew.  That was so not me!