i would like to take a moment to address some concerns about having parker4. and i figured this was as good a place as any to do just that.FAQs
yes, it is hard. yes, it is even harder having several so close together (so i hear) although, i wouldn’t really know, since this is the only reality i have to draw from. no, they don’t get as much as they would have if there were only one or two of them. yes, i have to sacrifice - time, money, wants, alone time, sanity, sleep. yes, i do have my “hands full”. and my personal favorite - yes, i know what causes this.

A BRIEF HISTORY OF LOVING KIDS
i always knew i wanted to work with kids. i just didn’t know what that looked like. i babysat. i majored in elementary ed. i worked/lived in the wilderness 8 weeks as a girl scout camp counselor with sixteen 8 year olds. i worked daycare as the only care-taker of nine 18-36 month olds. i taught 4 year old pre-k. multiple children in one place doesn’t scare me. i remember vividly praying when i was at college that God would teach me patience. He has been faithful. He put a desire in my heart to have a bunch of babies. and now He’s giving me the chance to practice.

WHY
why not just work with kids like i started out doing? that was not my calling. that’s not the desire in my heart. it just was never quite right. there was more. when pearl and i got married i knew i wanted kids. he knew i wanted kids. i knew he didn’t really want kids, but that he would compromise. neither one of us wanted them for a LONG time. hey, we had partying to do, yo. “maybe in 2 years” 2 years came and we still weren’t ready. but God had other plans and along came boy1. i wasn’t sure if i was going to stay home. pearl’s mom did, mine didn’t. i wasn’t sold. i was loving the downtown little rock high life. but i got laid off in the dot-com industry crash, and it’s hard to find good work when you’re 6 months pregnant. so i decided to stay home. pearl and his brother are 2 1/2 years apart. and i loved seeing how close they were. my sisters are 8 and 11 years older than me. i grew up an only child, kinda. with 3 moms, basically. not fun. i also knew i wanted several kids. so the equation was coming together. for my sake - i wanted several kids. for their sake i wanted them close in age. pearl’s best memories are of his first 5 years of life with his mom. this is what i wanted for my kids. i knew the inside of the daycare industry and i knew i didn’t want my kids there. my mom nannied when i was in high school and i saw those babies grow and call my mom “mama”. i translated for 2 and 3 year olds at day care for their parents who couldn’t understand their words, but i, a young college single, spent more waking hours with their babies than they did. these were not the things i wanted for my family. i’m not judging. i’m not making a statement about what should be for everyone. i’m saying this is the direction I was being led. and how we got where we are.

THE FIRST 3 PARKERS
boy1 came along and when he was 3 months old i was ready to go again. i got pregnant with boy2 (with 2 months of trying) when boy1 was 10 months old. when boy2 turned a year old and i wasn’t pregnant i was a little sad, but not quite ready yet. the morning we learned a friend’s baby was born - the fever hit. let me also back up. pearl didn’t want kids. and was petrified while i was pregnant with boy1. about 3 months after he was born he was sold. absolultely lovin’ the one we had and ready for more. same with girl1. he’s ready to be done now. i could keep going. so we’re compromising. one more.

DON’T MISS IT
why would i want this?
could i be having more fun? seriously. i LOVE watching them. learn, play, fight, grow. i love how much they’re teaching me. about love. love - watching my honey with them… could i be more in love with him? love - learning what unconditional means. love - seeing how discipline and love go hand in hand. i love the questions they ask. i love watching them sleep. i love nursing my babies. i love being pregnant. i love knowing God is growing a baby in there. that He’s knitting the details where i can’t see. i love the surprise of their birth. i love their smell. i love even the big-kids-playing-outside-top-of-their-head smell. i love how they interact with each other. i love how they love playing with their daddy. i love how they look packed like sardines across the back of the corolla. i love pick-ups, and hands-in-the-air-please-hold-me-mama looks. i love when they learn that first joke. and they realize the world is funny and they can create some that. i love the pictures they make and asking, “tell me all about it” because i can’t tell anything about it. i love their eyes when you tell them you got ‘em a surprise. i love seeing who they are and waiting to see who God made them to be. i love when they hold my hand and the softness of that hold. i love when they say, “i wuv wu mama” i love that they are as excited as me to get another brother or sister. i love how they make up games like catch the bouncy ball with the upside down bucket. i love when they discovered crisco while i wasn’t looking. i love how they take care of each other and then beat each other to a pulp the next second. i love the fingerprints all over everything.

WHAT I KNOW
i know we don’t have much money. i know that more babies puts a strain on the pocketbook and add more sleep deprivation. i know the chaos is not always joyful. i get tired, frustrated, fed up, and angry. the patience isn’t just handed over on a silver platter, after all. but it is given. i know that what i have is priceless at the end of the day. i know i wouldn’t trade what i have for all the money and time and sleep i’ve given up. i know this won’t last forever. i know it’s going faster everyday. i know God said they are a blessing from Him. i know He’s right.

i know i don’t want to miss this.