October 22nd, 2009 While TheOldest was doing his Spanish schoolwork the other morning ThePrincess chimed in with correct words and meanings. TheOldest looked up and said, “She’s going to be in high school by the time she’s 8 if she keeps learning like this.”
While TheMiddlest and TheOldest were playing Lego Star Wars on their DSes the other day TheOldest said, “Emperor Palpatine is evil.” To which TheMiddlest replied, “Yeah, but a cool evil.”
While sitting around cooped up inside from the rain last week BigMan was banging on the floor with a play hammer loudly and repeatedly. When Matt could take it no more he looked over at him and said, “Is that necessary?” To which BigMan replied, “Nope, it’s a hammer.”
The other morning while I was doing dishes Matt came in and asked me how happy I was. Let the games begin. “I’m pretty happy.” Met with, “On a scale of 1 – 10?” “One being and 10 being?” “One being a laparoscopy. Ten being Six Flags.” “No, Six Flags right now, postpartum with 5 little people is a nightmare, not a ten.” “Okay, ten being Disney World.” (Like somehow Disney World postpartum is better than Six Flags – it all makes sense in my world.) ”Hmm.. I’d say I’m an eight.” “You’re 2 steps away from Disney World right now? That’s why I like you, Little Woman, doing dishes and taking care of kids and you’re 2 steps away from Disney World.”
While eating dinner last night, I looked over and MyPrincess was eating butter. Straight. I just shook my head and commented about how gross that was. She laughed. Matt said, “That’s the kind of thing when she’s grown that her husband and kids will say, ‘They let you eat butter? No wonder you ____________(fill in the blank).’” And then he started suggesting things her future family will fill in the blank – you know, future neuroses – such as “No wonder you gained 40 pounds when you went off to college” or better yet “No wonder you lost 40 pounds when you went off to college”, “No wonder you’re so crazy”, and then they turned to the truly ridiculous “No wonder you only sleep on the floor”, and other such giggle-inducing fodder. Good luck, future husband. That’s all I can give you. Good luck.
October 9th, 2009 Brought to you by my husband Matt~
5:28am It’s still me, Suzanne, we have dropped the kiddos off and are driving to the hospital. I’m sure my turn will be over shortly and Matt’s updates will begin not long after we get to the hospital. Random thoughts this morn… Matt and I both got into fire ants while trying to buckle BigMan in – good grief. I barely slept last night. As did my children. I called friend
6:22am Matt taking the wheel — Suzanne was cut off by the rain storm on the way here. She is in no condition to continue that post now. We have arrived at the hospital, and we are in the room. They are asking her all the questions…..questions…..questions…..questions. She started having strong contractions right before we got to the hospital. The nurses are doing the hurry up protocol because it looks like she is progressing without induction so far. For the ladies, 3cm and 90% effaced. I will keep you abreast of the situation as we continue.
6:45am Well, at this point, it looks like there will be no induction. Suzanne is full blown “in labor”. They are rushing for an epidural. Everything is moving really quickly at this point. We shall see….. Everything is going well. They just turned on the room baby warmer machine thingy. Is this going more quickly than I even realized?
7:10am Epidural is done! One stick. Props to the aeneshtethesteeasealogyoist. All is well. Everyone keeps saying stuff about “progressing” quickly. The epidural is obviously taking effect … Suzanne just asked questions about the blogging.
7:39am OK. I need an action fix. I almost hate to admit it, but I am starting to get bored. Hospital Head is starting to creep in. Quickly, quickly, quickly … everything was slammin’ yo! Now, epidural, nurses and doctors out in the hall drinking coffee, quiet. I want action tonight! Satisfaction alright!! C.C. pick up that guitar and talk to me!
8:16 Just checked. Still 3cm. They may actually do pitocin … gonna check with the doc. He should be in before long. Everything seems to have slowed a bit … for now.
8:40 Strong contraction … whining about catheters ;)
9:04 They sneaked pitocin in on us in the IV. That would explain the bigger contractions i guess. 9:05 another big contraction….
9:20 Suzanne’s parents in da house! Raise the roof!! Woot woot!
9:36 Still gaining strength on the contractions
9:49 The doctor has arrived.
9:56 The “water” is “broken”, they tell me that is a positive thing.
10:20 I am settled in. Suzanne is settled in. Epidural in effect. Who knows? 30 minutes? 6 hours? I am going to require a cheeseburger up in here if she don’t get the show on the road. BTW, I am in hate with the “flying through the stars” screen saver on the contraction monitor computer screen thingy. Can’t we at least get some 1995 “growing interlacing pipes” going on in here?
10:39 They started the second antibiotic drip (for group B blah blah blah). Waiting….
10:53 Contractions getting more regular and maybe a little stronger … moving along
11:20ish we have a 7 lbs and 15.5oz boy. 20 3/4″ long. Healthy. Fussy. Hungry!
11:51 lying with mama getting his first meal through a mouth. Pics to follow soon.
Thanks to all for the prayers and the support. We love you guys. Most of all, thank you Father for a beautiful baby boy!!!
 Together again!  He was not happy until he got mama.....  Me and mama hanging out after eating.
 Sweet Little Feet  Together at last!
Be sure to read my my version of the big day: The Day Before, On Our Way, and His Hand Through The Storms.
September 18th, 2009 Disclaimer: I’m married to Matt Parker. And I have a fairly warped sense of humor. We are not politically correct people. I just don’t talk about that very often here. If you’re easily offended or have little readers standing beside you – move along and come back when I do a more palatable post on children, love, and homeschooling. Because this post ain’t that. I warned you.
Because I am married to Matt Parker life is never dull. We play games. For everything. Especially in the car going places – we have several of these.
We play a game called “That’s you. That’s me.” The rules are fluid and ever-changing. The only hard and fast rule is that you have to be the first to “call it”. A clunker broken down on the side of the road? “THAT’S YOU!” An awesome Mini Cooper? “THAT’S ME!” You get it, that’s the simple version. Houses, people, dogs, it’s all fair game. Bored with that? Up the ante – “The next girl we see walking down the street is you. And the next guy we see is me.” Still not funny enough (you’d be surprised)? It’s been known to turn phallic. I told you it wasn’t P.C. I’ll let your imagination take over this version of “That’s you. That’s me.”
Another truly non-P.C. game is ”The Country Song” game. It does require you to listen to country music for the duration of this game. You take a song and declare it “Gay Country Song”. Now you change all the pronouns to fit and sing it to the same sex. Hi.larious, I tell ya. Country music? C’mon. We were playing this game before Brokeback Mountain ever thought of being made. I don’t care who you are, you should try this. And do I really have to say: with kids in the car it makes it all the more fun to try to keep these things on the down low.
Now, for all of you readers that I haven’t run off yet here’s the game that brought on this post: it’s one we play a little too often. He always brings it up when I’m rather emotional – not that I’m emotional all that often (we all believe this right?). It’s called “How happy are you?” He starts it by asking this question and then moves to giving me a scale of 1-10. At which point I ask, “One being? And ten being?” And it’s at this point that Matt shines. The joy he takes in coming up with this scale is ridiculous. And it’s this part of the game that I would give about anything to have documented every one of these for the last 10 1/2 years of my life. This morning? I was crying over laundry (just don’t ask) and he asked me how happy I was going to be today. Have you ever been asked this while crying? It does not help your emotional state. And then he did it. “One being: the mom from Mommy Dearest. Ten being: Mr. Magorium.” And I do play along. Amazingly. This morning at that moment while brushing my teeth I contemplated this and stated I was a three. He laughed. I smiled. And just like that, the 3 rose just a little closer to the level of the Wonder Emporium.
Do you play games? If so, what are they? We could always use a new one. And if you don’t play games, you should try it. Life can be ridiculous, you might as well contribute to it.
August 17th, 2009 I’m sick of looking at that bowl of granola. But I got no alone time that I’m completely on my thinkin’ game to write something worthy of your attention. So, how ’bout some randomness for this Monday morn’?
I’m tired. Yeah, like I need a cup of coffee, but also, and more noteworthy, like, “I’m this tired now? I have 2 months left of this pregnancy” tired.
I can’t make it through the night sleeping anymore. And it’s no longer just my children’s faults. My body is sore in one position, has to pee in another, and just generally too pregnant to sleep.
My youngest son has a huge tattoo of a rose on his chest. That shows when I put him in dress shirts that button up. And that now refuses to wash off.
 My Biker Babe Oh, and he steals my toothbrush.
I actually walked through the grocery store asking my children what they wanted for meals this week. And then bought nearly everything they pointed to. My hubby’s on a diet, and I ain’t cookin’ whole frugal meals that they barely eat (in the name of training them to eat whatever is served) for only them and me (read: me) at this point in my life. So, sick of children refusing to eat an.y.thing I cook – I took them shopping.
The pregnancy has about zapped my creativeness. And energy. And ability to hold onto anything. And happy part of my brain. And ability to walk like anything other than a duck. Or a penguin.
When my husband went to the grocery store with me the other day and the check-out teenager started our chatting with “And you’re having another one?” My husband quipped, “Yeah, at least she knows who the dad is.” To which the teenager would not be outdone – “That’s you, right? You’ll know for sure when this one comes out.”
Oh, yeah, and speaking of crazy people and lots of children.. My husband had to have a sit-down with our oldest the other day when he wanted to know what Daddy had said to me to make me cry. It’s time he’s reminded once again, how insane Mama gets when she has a baby in her belly. And Daddy finished with, “One day you’ll know. You’ll be married – she’ll have a baby in her belly. Then you’ll understand.”
June 30th, 2009 After discovering BigMan in my container of flour and removing the remaining good flour I just let him be. As in, knowingly walked away while he sat right there on my counter and played contentedly with approximately 6 cups of flour.
And then I sat idly by while the others joined him in his “cookin’”.
And then I continued to sit there in my favorite spot on my couch while they offered to “clean up” the mess. So TheOldest retrieved the seldom-used vacuum and got started.
Then I sat idly by while all four of my children stood in awe at the workings of a vacuum cleaner.
I even sat there laughing while my husband said, “They don’t know what one is!”
I then got up from my peaceful spot and commanded little people to pick up toys enough that I could wipe, sweep, and vacuum.
And then I sat myself back down.
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