BigMan came and crawled into bed with me yesterday morning and heard a cricket outside. In his sleepy voice he said, “I like the sound of that.” And then after I explained it was a cricket and a minute or two of listening to it he said, “Is it singing to us?” I smiled and whispered yes. Then I explained how crickets make their pretty little sounds. He sat there listening and thinking and then said, “Yeah. That or they have these little music instruments that they play.”
I don’t take really good care of myself. That’s another one of those “she has a lot of kids” myths. I’ve noticed there are 2 schools of thought surrounding moms of more than a couple. And I’m not really either one. One is that they are fat, lazy, neglectful, eating bonbons on the couch, wearing curlers in her hair to town, with dirty kids running around the yard in diapers. Oh, wait… Maybe I fit that one a little better than the other stereotype. Which is more of the Duggar school of thought. It’s the one I most readily identify with moms of many, because I follow so many amazing moms of many. And that’s that they have it all together. They’re neatly dressed, completely organized, patient beyond belief, and their kids are perfectly behaved (I am so far from this one, we got off the trolley approximately 500 miles early from our scheduled stop because of my not quite 2 year old’s behavior and there happened to be a family with 5 children and they were Stepford I tell ya. So instead of thinking, “Weird, your kids are like silent little robots” I thought, “Dangit, I’m mad at my kids now for not being silent little robots.” So, we got off early, forced them to walk a long way while snapping rotten words at them. Ohmygoodgrief.)
Anyway, I’m not one of those moms. Obviously. Or we wouldn’t be called TheJoyfulChaos, right? I am this mom. The one who doesn’t neglect her children, is learning to not eat bonbons on the couch, hasn’t worn curlers in her hair since elementary school, and hates to drink water. Yes, I’m talking about water again. We all know how I abhor it. We all know how I nurse my children way past when society thinks it’s okay (yes, my kid is screaming “I wanna nurse right NOW, mama!!”) and we all know how we’re trying to sell a house, buy a house, move, Matt’s starting a new job, and oh, keep our normal lives running as well (can you say stress?)
I’m going somewhere, really.
So, I don’t take great care of myself, I don’t drink enough water (ever), I’ve been highly stressed, not getting enough rest, and going nonstop (we had our annual Not Back To School Day for 13 hours the other day – no kidding). And in that 13 hours I drank 1 little bottle of water, a half glass of root beer, and 2 coffees. So, imagine my shock when I woke up at 2am that morning with mastitis out of the blue. It’s how I’ve gotten it before. It sneaks up on me and attacks with no warning. I was instantly clogged, chilled with fever, and aching all over. Think flu minus the puking + sore bo.0.by. Not good.
I cried all morning long yesterday. And with Matt being brand new to his job I didn’t feel like I could call him to come home. I took Ibuprofen and Tylenol and it didn’t help so much. I cried some more. I had one burst of energy in the morning where I did dishes that were stinking for 2 days straight since I wasn’t here that long, I also did some much needed laundry, fixed cereal for everyone, and packed up 3 more boxes. I instantly regretted it. With more tears. I whined on Facebook and felt somewhat delirious when I walked outside and found the same stupid stray dog that’s been (unfed) on my porch for 3 days. ARGH! I whined some more on Facebook. And asked for some advice.
And then I became desperate. (here’s where this story’s been going)
By the time Matt got home he asked me if I had tried the garlic home remedy that a couple different friends had suggested for its antibiotic properties. I didn’t have any whole raw fresh garlic (I loved the idea of cutting a clove into 2 or 3 different pieces and swallowing them like pills), alas, none of that. But I did have a jar of minced garlic. (You do know where this is going, right?) I thought “I’ll get my orange fiber drink all ready to chase the spoonful of garlic and it will all cancel out, I’ll be miraculously healed, it won’t be that bad.” I got as far as holding my nose and putting the spoonful in my mouth. I actually tried chewing it up. Do you know what it’s like chewing a heaping teaspoon of minced garlic? Don’t find out. I finally gave up the chewing and tried to gulp it. Then started throwing back the orange fiber drink. It was at this point that I thought maybe I had been taken Snipe Hunting on this one. I began to hate y’all in my heart. Worst things I’ve ever tried to eat. Ever. I then tried to drink some chocolate milk to get rid of the taste. Then I ate half a granola bar. Nothing was helping. I brushed my teeth. It was horrible.
This morning I feel better. I’m still hurting, but it’s better. I followed all the traditional rules like before (drink tons of fluids, rest, hot showers, warm packs, lots of nursing, massage) and maybe those things did it. But upon waking this morning with a fever that finally broke I think, “huh, next time I’ll spring for the whole fresh garlic and save myself the torture.” This morning I kinda buy into it. This morning I feel refreshed. And like I might could repel vampires single handedly.
My parents brought my niece over to stay the week. And they brought some more hand-me-down clothes for my girl (I’m SO thankful!!) I realized when some of the shoes were too big for my girl that they just might fit me (yes, I have hobbit feet. Minus the hair, I promise) So, I tried on some boots. And they kind of fit me. I turned around to show Matt and he snapped my picture. And uploaded it to Facebook.
Along with this caption: Cowgirl meets trashy housewife
But it didn’t stop there. The discussion continued below:
Matt went on to say, “That’s my kinda lady right there!!!” and “Star Wars tee…paint shorts…cowgirl boots! The Tri-Fecta!!!”
And one of Matt’s best friends Stu said, “yeah that star wars shirt gets mad points, well done pearl, she does have the appearence of a triple threat wife, rock on brother”
And if that weren’t enough my own sister chimed in, “Hmmm, and I just sent my one and only child to your house for a week. I guess she came just in time for homeschooling fashion week, lol. Just make a list of fashion accessories I should have on hand for when she returns.” And followed that with “I think I need to take the rest of the week off and come for a personal lesson myself.” Oh my word, y’all! “Homeschooling fashion week” still has me rolling!
And while my parents were here I was discussing politics with my dad and griping about Obama’s latest underhanded scary move and lamenting the ever-increasing prices of groceries while the kids ran around us screaming. To which my dad retorted, “If I were you and Matt I wouldn’t worry about going hungry, I’d worry more about going crazy.”
And then because I haven’t used the exercise bike in oh, forever (there was that 4 day stint a few months back, but does that really count?) and TheBaby kept climbing on it and falling we moved it to the yard. Where it has sat for months. So, yesterday I asked Matt if there was anything wrong with setting it by the road with a “Free” sign on it. He laughed and said, “There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just really funny, you better get a picture.” And so I did.
And no, I didn’t wear the boots down to the road.
And then, just for good measure, we launched Army men into space and ate patriotic cookies. And played with those controversial sparklers (because yes, Matt did buy 144 of them the other day).
Sometimes the ridiculousness around here even gets me. Cowgirl trashy housewife that I am. ;)
Last Sunday Matt went with a friend to town and it was a bit rainy. I had to find something for the kids to do. I rolled out freezer paper, drew an outline of each of them and had them color them in. It was awesome. Worked out way better than I expected. I gave up my naptime to do it, because having the Baby sleep was the only way to actually get those done.
One morning I woke up to a dog barking and whining. It never went away. I didn’t think much about it. Until Baby wandered around the side of the house and as I was following him around he ran back to me yelling “Dog! ‘Cared! Dog! I ‘cared!!” Sure enough, I would say there was a dog there and that it scared him. Ridiculous. That same dog has now torn up our trash 4 of the last 5 days.
I sorely misplanned (is too a word) our afternoon naps, needed to run to the grocery store the other day and found myself with 3 napping children at 5 pm.
I ordered a car magnet, 2 t-shirts, and an ink pen to promote my site. I wore the shirt to Baby’s well-child check up. I am crazy.
Matt met us at a park Friday afternoon and I got a picture of the whole crew. I love them. Matt found out on this day that it is a Chinese traditional joke that a man who wears a green hat has a wife who is cheating on him. Oh, good grief, I’m not cheating on you!! ;)
From there we did something highly unusual for us. We split up. Matt took the 2 oldest boys on a “boys’ night out” to a Travs game. He sent me a text at one point that read “Middlest + 20 oz. Dr. Pepper = Hammy.” He wasn’t kidding. That boy was still bouncing off the walls when he got home.
I brought the 3 youngest home with me and we watched Tangled. We loved it, by the way. And the boys had a great time with their daddy.
While out in town I resisted donuts with relative ease..
but once home found myself salivating over the soda I couldn’t have. I need to get my priorities straight. Who craves soda over chocolate covered donuts? I keep reminding myself it’s all worth it.
I wrote this post at nearly 1am. I will be in severe regret by the time you read this.
Link up with Melissa at Saturday Confessions on A Familiar Path, won’t you?
Yesterday was our annual homeschool standardized test. And I wore a Golden Eye “Cheater” shirt. Just to see if there are any homeschoolers out there with a sense of humor. I also dressed my oldest in a Fender shirt and a rock star hair do. For just the same reason.
While on the way to the test for our oldest, in rush hour traffic I drove through the downtown hurry crowd drive-thru and ordered 2 orders of chicken strips, a burger, a breakfast burrito, and a grilled cheese. I saw cuss words floating in the air about my head.
After Baby got the over an inch splinter in his foot in the house, I let my girl go barefoot at the park. Where they “soften the blow” with wood sticks.
I routinely let my 4 year old dress in backwards inside out shirts. With shoes on the wrong feet.
I still cut my 9 year old’s fingernails. Am I the only one? Am I holding on too long?
I have now put 2 pictures of me with no make up and messed up hair for all the world to see. Twice.
