Blogs And Babies

Jill and Wendy commented on my sidebar category pictures.  Just when I was about to take them off.  I’m in a blog redesigning mood.  I have more plans.  I just have to figure out how to make them happen.

And just why am I making all these changes?  Well, lots of reasons, let’s go back a few years.

I’ve not been able to find my first post.  It’s not on here.  I knew that.  But I had no idea where it was.  When I first started blogging I tried several different places and didn’t know about transferring posts.  So I left it behind not thinking it was that important.  That was 3 1/2 years ago and not only have I not abandoned this fad, I’ve only grown more addicted.  My husband found it the other day.  He is the one that blogged first and got me started, got us all to fall in love with him and then abruptly stopped.  I’ve been trying to talk him into starting it back up.  And when he went back to his original blog the other day, there it was.  That first post I ever wrote.  And in that very first post was the sentence “i’m hopin’ to build a following of moms of younguns who love it and are absolutely struggling with the day to day grind of runny noses, wiping bottoms, endless fights, being a short order cook (of which no one ever likes what i turn out), learning to do dishes with a broken kitchen and do laundry with a broken dryer, all with absolute true joy. it can be done. i’m doin’ it. and lovin’ it. did i mention i’m on zoloft?!”

Pretty amazing.  I had 4 readers.  Without much thought at the time, I felt drawn, even then, to make this a place for people to come where they can find fellowship in their dailiness and encouragement in their downness.

A couple of years ago I was bogged down with BigMan’s pregnancy, living in a tiny duplex, facing a 9th month pregnancy move, a first year of homeschooling doubt, and I got frustrated with the direction of my blog.  I remember writing that when we got moved and the new baby came I was going to go back to the drawing board and figure out just what I wanted out of blogging.  And I did just that.  I got a notebook, I wrote out why I was doing this.  What my goals were.  What I thought it would take to reach those goals.  And, of course, how I wanted my site to look.  Recently, I’ve started studying blogging again.  This time, the people-pleasing side of it.  What drives traffic to your site?  What keeps people coming back?  What “look” is pleasing to my desired audience?  Can I make this site more searchable, easily able to be navigated?  Yes, I really am this much of a geek.

And while I’ve been studying I’ve even struggled with not losing sight of the original reasons I had for blogging.  There’s fame to be had in this subculture.  Fame and money.  No, really, you laugh, but there is.  From ads, from book deals, from the growing popularity on the news of blogs, from writing deals in magazines, from speaking engagements in conferences.  And though I’ve never been a popularity seeker – even in high school (okay, classmates, no laughing out loud here, please) I’ve found a place that makes me want to be one of the kids everybody likes.

But, really, the popularity and numbers of readership are side products of what I really want to accomplish.  I want other mamas to have what I didn’t have when I first started having babies.  Acceptance, love, and the fellowship that comes from the feeling of, “Really?  I’m not the only one struggling over here?”  I want the community that most modern moms no longer have.  A mom that’s been there, a friend to listen, to hug, to laugh, and a place to swap ideas, recipes, and tips.  In the meantime, I’ve made so many new friends, reconnected with old friends, kept grandparents updated, and am leaving a legacy to my children.  One that they can look back at and see that being their mama has been the best thing I’ve ever done and letting them know that there is no fairytale side of parenting – that their mama is human.

So, the changes you’ll find around here are to build my readership.  Give me your feedback, let me know.  I want to become more popular.  To earn a little money.  All with the purpose of reaching out to mamas that just might need to hear today, what I needed to hear about 5 years ago.

Hang in there.  You’re not alone.  It only gets better.