It’s been a whirlwind doozy of a couple of days. Seems like I might have opened a post a couple of weeks ago nearly the same way. I dunno, I’m too tired and lazy to go check, but it sounds familiar to me. Anyway.
I can’t tell you everything right now. But trust me when I say do I have a story for you. And the Author has some surprise twists along the way.
I’m giddy about telling it. And I don’t even know the whole story yet.
It’s like when you grew up with Star Wars Episodes 4, 5, and 6 and then you got all excited and watched the newest Episode 1 and then Episode 2. But you had to wait for Episode 3 to tie it all together for you. You knew how it ended. You knew where you had gotten to. You just don’t know exactly how it all comes together. But I’m super excited to find out what He has for us.
We’ve kinda known God was calling us to a mission field (don’t get too excited, we’re not actually moving off to Africa – it’s a local mission field). But we kinda didn’t want to listen. We kinda thought maybe He wasn’t really talking to us. That maybe it was just directed at other people. So, we kept not really listening. And consequently we stayed in a constant state of frustration.
And through a complete frustrated crying surrender (why can’t I ever see it when I’m in the middle of it?) a calm voice reached out and asked, “Hey, why don’t you consider moving here. Where we are reaching out in missions. Come on over, we’ll look at houses together.”
And I cried some more. Right there in the van on a day that Arkansas broke record heat temperatures. Matt and the kids asked me why I was crying this time. And I explained it was because I knew this feeling. This feeling of a belching whale. I knew what it felt like to feel the Answer in the midst of my feeble prayer. I knew that when you choose Tarshish, that eventually you beg for Ninevah. And I knew, with all that I had coming that I didn’t know, I knew Who was calling us. I knew that the last time Matt and I followed Him on complete and total blind faith it was one of the closest times we’ve lived through. I knew that it was one of the closest to Him times we’ve lived through. I knew that it was hard and fun and crazy and exciting. I knew it felt right.
I still don’t have all the answers, but tonight I have peace and anticipation. This is what it’s like to really live. I might have forgotten. I feel like I’m waking up from a long midday sleep.
Today I’m thankful for…
- a van that kept running all day, though it acted like it didn’t wanna
- an air conditioner that kept running, though it has gone out several times in the last few days
- my friends who whisper Words of encouragement
- my friends who pray for us
- my friends who will go so far as to look up possible houses for us to live in and send us links
- my husband being a Christ follower
- my husband and I being of One mind
- family who have prayed us through every step of the way
- new opportunities
- His hand
- food enough through the last week
- my children who have been willing to eat everything I’ve put in front of them this last week without complaint
- Kristin who didn’t know how to help from states away, but sent a letter covered in handwritten encouraging verses (I can’t wait until I can get that picture on here!) and a Subway gift card (you knew we were “not dieting” and eating healthy – it didn’t go unnoticed!!) that fed our family 2 meals on this day of desperation. And cookies. We bought cookies with it too. Today, sweet Kristin, you fed my family and my soul.
I’m just thankful. And ready.