Some of you have asked a few questions and I thought I’d try to answer ‘em for you. First of all, who does TheFinalist look like? Well, in terms of the other kids, he looks very much like TheMiddlest and BigMan at birth. For instance check this out. This first picture was taken by Melissa when BigMan was a few weeks old.
Compared to TheFinalist at 3 days old. Pretty darn close.
And as Jill pointed out – they all have Matt’s very wonderful nose (strong genes, indeed!) This was a surprise to us on this newest little one, because it looked more like mine in the ultrasound than did any of the others, but alas, no butt nose (as we lovingly call mine, yes, we do), for yet another child of ours.
Second of all, I feel fine. As far as being one week post partum. Everything hurts but that’s just how it goes. My ankles are way more swollen than when I was pregnant, but the nurses said it was due to the amount of IV fluid I got and that it would subside before too long. TheFinalist is doing great. We go for his weight and color check tomorrow. He’s nursing great. Sleeping decently. Again, as far as a one week old goes. He does like his daddy much more than BigMan did at this point. Which is a huge relief. I like that Daddy can settle him and not send him into complete screaming must-have-mama fits. He seems pretty easily settled, which is also nice. He’s a holder, but heck, I like a holder.
Y’all’ve asked how the others are adjusting and what they think of him. Particularly my right hand man BigMan. I chose that picture up there partly for this question. Look at it again and this time shift your focus from TheFinalist to the kid in the background. Look at the smile on that face. Says it all. As does my hand in there trying to pre-empt any sudden hugs. Sure, I worried some about how he would react, I have afterall heard the horror stories of others and I’ve had enough kids now to know that not a lot has to do with my parenting, but rather has more to do with each individual kid. And I’ve lived long enough to know how my own words taste. Having said all of that, I did worry some that BigMan would not so welcoming. But I was less worried than when I was having my second child, because though they are all different, I have never had any of them have any issue with the arrival of the next. The strongest reaction we ever had was when we brought ThePrincess home and TheMiddlest (who had just turned 2 three weeks prior) refused to acknowledge her existence. Just ignored her. Until the third day when he came over asked for “baby” looked at her, touched her, and then went about his business. Everything was fine after that. I’m not sure anything I’ve done had anything to do with it, but I do know a few of the things we’ve done with them all. I always have time to sit with the older children. I will hand off the newest baby to Daddy to cuddle the others, especially the younger ones. I always let the kiddos hold the new baby (you know, sitting next to me, with my arm around them to catch if need be). I keep all our same routines in place (as much as possible). They know the new baby is their baby as much as it is mine. They’ve been involved from the very beginning (remember how they watched the stick turn pink with me?!) and we keep them involved (we made a “counting down” paper chain about a month and a half ago and they’ve taken turns tearing off the link each day). We reassure with words and hugs and actions. BigMan’s been asking more questions about him coming for weeks now and made up that sweet song for him (which he sings frequently to him). BigMan already had to get used to not being in my lap as much or getting his “pick ups” as much since I was huge and in pain at the end of the pregnancy – so sharing my arm space and lap realty has not been a shock to his system. ThePrincess loves him. Too much. Wants to hug him, and squeeze him, and check out all his 2000 body parts. TheMiddlest told me the other day that he was the cutest of them all. And calls him the King of all babies. TheOldest told me the day before we went into have him that he hoped that day would go really quickly because although Nana was taking them to a fun pizza place he really wanted his new baby brother the most. “Because the pizza place fun only lasts a few hours, but I get to have my new brother forever.” Have I mentioned that I know I’m blessed. So thankful.
Are we really through? First of all, really? Do you need to ask me that, Ms. Grocery Check Out woman? Really? I don’t know. Again, I don’t like the taste of my own words. And God has ways of surprising me. Like with the ability to afford this sweet child that I thought we wouldn’t have. However, I feel through. Not like, I’m in pain, I’m sick of this, through. More like, my quiver’s full and I like feeling content like this. I always wanted five. I like five. We’re not millionaires (which is by far not the only reason - God has provided for each blessing He’s given), but it is a consideration. And really, I just want to raise these precious kiddos I have. Will I be devastated if God surprises us with more down the road? Do you really have to ask that? Will we be planning for more? Probably not. We both are happy with where we are. Even as I’ve considered all the lasts at the same time I’ve pondered the firsts this week, there is no sadness. Not a twinge of it while packing away newborn sizes to give away or keepsake. Eh, it feels good. Will it stay this way? I don’t know. And don’t really care right now. So, to you random stranger at the store – does that answer it for you?
Megan asked if it had sunk yet that there are FIVE of them. Yeah, I think so, though Matt said today, just wait until they’re 18, 16, 14, 12, and 10. Yeah, then it might feel a little different, ya think?! It doesn’t feel that much different. I still have 4 running around crazy cooped up because the rain.just.will.not.stop. And a baby attached to me nearly at all times. It just doesn’t feel different. I didn’t go from no children to five children in one day - it was a gradual process - a lot like the frogs into lukewarm water theory. I will say, trying to fit 5 car seats/boosters into a 7 person minivan is now a little tricky. It reminds me of when we had 3 of them packed across the back of a Corolla. Packed is the key word. The middle seat in the back doesn’t have a shoulder strap so that’s where BigMan’s forward facing seat has to go. Making it impossible for ThePrincess to buckle herself back there. So now, I’m back to buckling BigMan (in the back of the van), buckling ThePrincess (when she’s not Boss), and buckling TheFinalist. Not ideal. But cozy. It was when we got them all in the other day and drove off for the first time that I thought, “Wow, that’s a lot of kids.” It just looks like more of them when you look back at a van stuffed full. I’ll get a picture and post it soon – it’s a hoot.
In the meantime, thanks for all your sweet comments and wonderful well wishes. I can’t wait to see most of you in person soon, though we’ll be cocooning for a little while. The pediatrician and the hospital staff all gave us the stern talking to about taking him out in public, being around lots of kids, and all that. Since I was already paranoid about the flu, let’s just say the warnings (and seeing the people standing around in the hospital with masks on) didn’t help so much. I’m praying for my trust in Him to grow again and that I will find peace about it. Because I want to find the balance of being wise and not being fearful. I know there’s peace in Him, if I would just rest in it.
I remember a couple of weeks ago pondering if it would all be okay. I asked y’all to remind me that it would be worth it when he got here. He’s here. And we couldn’t be more in love. The last 9 months of near torture were worth every second of this:
