Sports fan face painting weekend.
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Disclaimer: I’m married to Matt Parker. And I have a fairly warped sense of humor. We are not politically correct people. I just don’t talk about that very often here. If you’re easily offended or have little readers standing beside you – move along and come back when I do a more palatable post on children, love, and homeschooling. Because this post ain’t that. I warned you.
Because I am married to Matt Parker life is never dull. We play games. For everything. Especially in the car going places – we have several of these. We play a game called “That’s you. That’s me.” The rules are fluid and ever-changing. The only hard and fast rule is that you have to be the first to “call it”. A clunker broken down on the side of the road? “THAT’S YOU!” An awesome Mini Cooper? “THAT’S ME!” You get it, that’s the simple version. Houses, people, dogs, it’s all fair game. Bored with that? Up the ante – “The next girl we see walking down the street is you. And the next guy we see is me.” Still not funny enough (you’d be surprised)? It’s been known to turn phallic. I told you it wasn’t P.C. I’ll let your imagination take over this version of “That’s you. That’s me.” Another truly non-P.C. game is ”The Country Song” game. It does require you to listen to country music for the duration of this game. You take a song and declare it “Gay Country Song”. Now you change all the pronouns to fit and sing it to the same sex. Hi.larious, I tell ya. Country music? C’mon. We were playing this game before Brokeback Mountain ever thought of being made. I don’t care who you are, you should try this. And do I really have to say: with kids in the car it makes it all the more fun to try to keep these things on the down low. Now, for all of you readers that I haven’t run off yet here’s the game that brought on this post: it’s one we play a little too often. He always brings it up when I’m rather emotional – not that I’m emotional all that often (we all believe this right?). It’s called “How happy are you?” He starts it by asking this question and then moves to giving me a scale of 1-10. At which point I ask, “One being? And ten being?” And it’s at this point that Matt shines. The joy he takes in coming up with this scale is ridiculous. And it’s this part of the game that I would give about anything to have documented every one of these for the last 10 1/2 years of my life. This morning? I was crying over laundry (just don’t ask) and he asked me how happy I was going to be today. Have you ever been asked this while crying? It does not help your emotional state. And then he did it. “One being: the mom from Mommy Dearest. Ten being: Mr. Magorium.” And I do play along. Amazingly. This morning at that moment while brushing my teeth I contemplated this and stated I was a three. He laughed. I smiled. And just like that, the 3 rose just a little closer to the level of the Wonder Emporium. Do you play games? If so, what are they? We could always use a new one. And if you don’t play games, you should try it. Life can be ridiculous, you might as well contribute to it.  Profile of TheFinalist at 34 weeks 4 days. This was from last week’s appointment. Kinda fuzzy ’cause when you get to this point the ultrasounds get a little hard to see. He’s still measuring about 2 weeks larger than he is in gestational age. I don’t feel like he’s ridiculously huge, but his position is about to do me in. Straight up and down. And I don’t exactly have a long torso to fit him in like that. The good thing, positionally, is that he is head down. This week (35 weeks 4 days) started our weekly check ups. We started one week early with this because of his size. We wanted to see if my body is progressing at the same rate as his size. No effacement. 1-2 centimeters dilated. We won’t schedule an induction any time soon. And maybe not at all. We’ll have to see. I do live 40 some odd minutes away from the hospital, this is my 5th child, and my other labors have gone fairly quickly. Plus, I have 4 other little people to see that they get to their sitter. On the other hand, I’ve scheduled inductions with the last 2 children and they came on their own before we could even get there to induce. So, it was all rather pointless. Another consideration is how the Group B Strep test comes out next week (please pray for negative on this). I’ve been positive on the last 2 babies and they like to get a certain amount of antibiotics into my system before the delivery, but with their quick arrivals didn’t have the time to get the full amount into me. Just ups the stress level for me (not to mention the risk level for the baby). In theory, the scheduled inductions were going to help with this scenario. No such. The house is getting closer to my level of readiness acceptance. But it’s just not there and I feel the clock ticking down. If we don’t induce then I have tops 4 1/2 weeks. If we induce at the weeks my doc mentioned – then that could leave me with as little as 3 weeks. I know, I’m nesting. My honey asked the other day what all I wanted done and then looked at me like I was crazy when I listed everything. I said, “I just want it done.” To which he replied, “That is the motto of the nesting woman.” I know. However, I must say, when he kept all 4 children yesterday for me to go to the doc alone, when I arrived home he had rearranged the furniture I had listed, had the kids pick up the living areas, moved all the couches and swept under them, fixed the kiddos dinner, took the trash out, and swept all the living areas. A.maz.ing. I am contracting more and more. Not unusual for me. I don’t even really pay attention to them unless I notice that they are coming pretty often, then I will drink some water, stop working, change positions, and start clocking them. But I really don’t expect anything so early as this. I’m still sick in case you’re wondering. I’m weary of this. Yes, there are prescriptions, but after discussing them with my doctor, I’m going to stick with my Zantac. It would be a toss-up as to whether they would even help, there are other potential side effects, and really, I just would rather stick with this than that, so I’m holdin’ out for the baby to come. Fairly certain his online name will be TheFinalist. Matt and I had talked about it and this was his suggestion (right, of course?!) I thought it was too funny! I know, most of you don’t believe us (is there really even one of you that does?) But I feel done. Not like, my honey feels done and I’ll go along. Like, I’m done. I know, we’ll see. But ugh. That’s all I’ve got to say on this one. Pretty sure Matt will be live-blogging the birth from the hospital (we now have a laptop!!) Stay tuned: that will be a scene, man. By live-blogging I mean, he’ll let you know when the day comes, he’ll update you with the progress (probably with his famous “contracting” pictures he loves to take) and then he’ll post those glowing beautiful after-pics of all of us with Baby. Not like you get to see the birth live. That’s not for you. Even if you did want to see that (and shame on you for that, if so). And did I tell you what he said when we were discussing this? Me: “I’m thinking of having Melissa live-blog for me, but you’d have to tell her what’s going on.” Him: “Live-blogging, huh? I could do that: I could pretend I’m you and talk a bunch about the baby and whine a bunch and say something about chili bites.” It’s sure to be entertaining. It’s here!  We have so many books. It’s ridiculous, really. And let me tell you right up front, I’m terrible at going to the library. Like, never happens. That would require me to get a card. Keep up with a card. Get a bunch of people ready. Go there. Keep up with a lot of people while picking out books. Then I would actually have to keep up with the books and keep them from getting peed on or something and then actually get them back there on time. Or find the change to pay them. Too much. It’s just too much to ask of me, really. So the books you’ll see here are from our personal collection. As you’ll be able to tell – they are what I like to call “well-loved” . Love Song For A Baby Written by Marion Dane Bauer Illustrated by Dan Andreason
This week I’m going with a book that I’ve owned since MyOldest (now 8 years old) has had since he was a baby. It’s a beautiful book to read to your newborn. My toddlers have always found it boring, but then come back to it around 3 0r 4 and want to have it read, want to know if Mama and Daddy really felt that way, and if the pictures were of them. So sweet!
Beautiful words, beautiful pictures, timeless. And now it’s your turn! Have your Children’s Books post ready including a link back to this post and then enter your name or website and your specific post URL. That’s it! And we all get to blog hop and see each other’s favorite books. I can’t wait!
Go pick a pic! Write a little somethin’! Get ready to link! You can grab the button for your site here:
And if you’re not a blogger or just don’t wanna link – then leave me a comment with your fav book and why it’s so! I wanna know! Get ready – Tuesday’s the day!  |
  
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