Today we took my honey to work. And as he was getting out of the van, my toddler (21 months) said with the saddest little face, “Where Dad-dy going? Where Dad-dy going? Dad-dy stay?” Not that surprising, you say?
Well then you have not been reading here very long. If you have, then your jaw is dropping. This child begs for Daddy now. Wants to play with him, be with him, sit with him. Is distraught when he leaves. Asks about him when he’s gone.
The others did this too. It’s just that the change is much more dramatic with TheBaby~est. That being, of course, because he hated his daddy. Hated him.
I’m not exaggerating. I wrote about it here, here, here, here, and most especially here at the time. The others as newborns were very fond of their mama, which is endearing, until you begin to realize that it seems as though Daddy is being left out. And then you begin to fret, worry, and generally get paranoid that they won’t “bond” properly. Maybe you, with older children, never had this. I don’t want speculation as to why. Maybe it was all me. Maybe it was because I never left them. Maybe other families never dealt with this. And that’s great. I’m genuinely thrilled for you. But I write this for those of you who are reading this and saying, “Wow, that’s right where I am.” I know if this fourth child would have been my first I would have been devastated, wrought with fear for the future of this baby and his daddy. Being that he was my fourth and I saw the older 3, in varying degrees, go from only mama-babies to daddy’s-play-friends, snubbing mama at every turn for time with Daddy, then I worried a lot less. Don’t get me wrong, you know me, I still worried, just not as much as I would have.
So, to you mamas and daddies that are worried: Fear not. Everything has a season. Mamas – enjoy that sweet cuddle time.
Daddies – your time will come. If it’s as severe as it was with this one, then just ride it out. And know that one day, way too soon, your toddler will cry over your absence as pitifully as they cry for their Mama now. Be encouraged!
