TheKiddos »

 my girl is in a make-up phase.  and a sneaking phase at the same time.  so far that has equaled one bottle of nail polish, 2 tubes of chapstick and one tube of $8 lipstick.  yes, i’m keeping count.  i am amazed however, that she got this so right.  just look at that application.  pretty impressive.

Tips & Tricks »

yes, even in a stay-at-home homeschooling house there is rush hour.  it’s one of those dreaded transition times that you formulate a (for me, very loose) plan and hang onto your hats until it’s passed. 

i don’t do anything on a very tight schedule.  i wish i could.  i was built to love a schedule.  however, i have a husband and lot of little people (and don’t forget the cat) that constantly conspire against this thought.

however, with that said, this is how i do mornings (usually). 

somewhere between 5:30 and 6:30a i have anywhere from 1-4 little people awake begging me to get out of the bed.  and my honey’s alarm clock goes off somewhere in there (also, not set in stone - depending on how late he stayed up).  sometimes i get right up.  most of the time i lay there trying to will myself out of the comfort of my laziness.  once i actually get up it’s on.  (hence the dragging of the proverbially feet)  i have a rough list of things that all must be done 5 minutes ago and everyone (including me) is discontent until each and everything has been marked off that list.

• get up (i usually have nursed the morning nursing before getting out of the bed, so i don’t worry about this again until after rush hour is over)
• do a run-through of the house for all things that my new walking munchkin could get into (glasses of water, his pp diaper i didn’t quite get to the trash can last night, left-over snacks on end-tables, and on and on)  i get “the boss” to help me with this part and collect the water cups from their beds from the night before - we recycle these for our morning cups
• brew coffee (”the boss” gets to help with this - dump the old grinds [talking about how the water changes into coffee through them], watch how many cups of water i pour [look at skip counting by two's, figure out just how many cups i brewed if it's an odd number, talk about odd and even numbers], let them scoop the grounds, smell the grounds, and push the ”on” button, subtract the numbers from the holding container as it brews and then add the numbers as it fills the pot.  we’ve had many impromptu lessons from the coffee pot) 
• make coco (kid coffee) sippy cups
• get together my husband’s clothes while he showers (this is only done when i’ve neglected the laundry and it’s piled ridiculously high to where his clothes cannot somewhat easily be found - most of the time)
• supply some sort of sustenance (this is really simple at this point: a banana, a granola bar, a poptart, some graham cracker, something that doesn’t require much of me.  our real breakfast is at about 9 or 10a)
• feed the cat (if she’s screaming at me)
• start a computer game for one child and a show for the other two (if i can manage to get them on reader rabbit and bill nye the science guy - SCORE!  if not, we’ll accept barbie and house of mouse - whatever it takes, people)
• get my daughter to take off her diaper and put it in the trash
• change the baby’s diaper (i wait for last to do this, he usually does his dirty deed after he’s been up and walking around a few minutes and i don’t want to waste any diapers - of course, if his diaper has leaked in the night then he obviously gets first priority)
• me: pee, brush my teeth, and put on a bra are also on the list (my husband said that “putting on a bra” actually being on the morning list is ridiculous - however, if it’s not on the list it won’t get done!)
• gather at the door to see daddy off for work (6:45a) and make sure all of my munchkins don’t get in the way of the van rolling out and gather them back in for shoes and jackets after daddy has driven out of sight.

during this time i do little else.  i don’t even think about our lessons, or dishes, or laundry; all in good time.  i don’t fix toys, look at whatever is cool on the tv, or zip up a dress-up outfit.  only the essentials, people.  they can help each other with these things or wait for me to get to it.

and then to my favorite part: pour my first cup of coffee and sit down at the ‘puter.

all of this has taken anywhere from an hour to 15 minutes.  i don’t know why the large span of time difference.  you know, if more than one child needs to be wiped, we have a poop out the diaper that requires i give an immediate bath to offending child, i’ve had a particularly horrendous night of lack of sleep that causes me to drag around at a snail’s pace, etc.  as my friend said yesterday, “it’s all about the chaos theory.”  yes, around here, it really is.  let one butterfly wing get ruffled and hunker down for a hurricane.

TheKiddos »

this morning my oldest asked to play the computer barbie game.  and not just that.  he wanted dress the fairy. 

and, as i do know, there is nothing wrong with that.  per se.  except i’m the kind of bad parent that immediately starts over-analyzing the whole scene.  oh dear.  as much as i have nothing against and have had several friends (and even a crush and resulting loss of a bet that a cute co-ed at college most assuredly could not be…well, uh, of a different persuasion) this is definitely not what i want for my son. 

the thoughts begin to swirl, with a mild tone of hysteria.  what have i done?!  what can i do?!  should i do anything at this point?!  let him play?!  forbid it?!  forbid it totally in the house, including my daughter, to avoid such things?!  react!  i must react!

but i didn’t.  i showed him how to get to the fairy garden and smiled and said nothing.

and a few minutes later he called me over begging me to print the beautiful fairy.  for his sister.  to hang on her wall.

what have i done?  raised a brother that pays attention to the things his little sister adores.

what can i do?  keep doing what i’ve done and stand back and watch.

and let him play.

(and just maybe, chill out a little, take that zoloft a little earlier in the morning,  and get over myself.  good grief.)

Somethin' »

i watched my oldest son become a little more of a man today. i watched as he stood contemplating the jump he would have to make to cross the creek at the park. he knew he couldn’t just take the bridge. and i knew it was a moment that had to happen. even as everyone else was being loaded into the van and my mama instinct wanted to cry out, “get in the van for crying out loud! we’re all waiting. just jump already, or wade through it, or cross the bridge for goodness’ sake.” but i knew it was much more than a boy-need to jump. it was a coming of age moment. even my second son who is more the dare devil and jumper extraordinaire took a little bounce and uneventfully went on through the water. and the look was there in his eyes too. one of needing to prove himself. but amazingly it was as if he knew his older brother needed to prove it a little more than him. or maybe he knew it wasn’t his time yet. but my oldest did. and i watched. as he, time and again, ran from a distance away and stopped abruptly at the water’s edge each time. not quite ready. time and again he checked to see if i was watching.

there was one time after trying and losing his nerve several times that he squatted down and put his chin in his hands. and shook his head. this was not going to get the better of him. he was determined. but still unsure. standing on the brink of… something bigger. something he’d never done. something he needed to do.

and then he did. and he fell and got wet up to the knees. and it wasn’t a soaring success of perfection. but he was proud. he held his chest out a little further. because even with the fall, he knew he didn’t back down. he knew when he felt the need to prove himself, he proved himself worthy.

SystematicChaos »

I don’t have a clue about what I’m doing. No, really, I don’t. I know people who have their whole homeschooling careers mapped out from before their child is born. They know the method they’ll use. They have a plan for whatever learning styles their children turn out to have. They have their curriculum ordered, their school year lesson plans written or if they’ve chosen unschooling, they are completely confident and prepared for the life of learning they’ll unravel. Me? I have no idea.

A year and a half into this thing I don’t know what I’m doing. Nope, truly. How many days a year? Nope. Start in September? Start in January? Nope. Use a full curriculum set? Unschool? Eclectic? No idea. I don’t even know if my oldest is really in kindergarten or 1st grade. I told you I didn’t know what I was doing. Before they were preschool age I thought maybe I’d homeschool. I knew I had the ability. I wasn’t worried about socializing. I knew there were lots of great curricula out there. And then my oldest made lots of friends and there was such a to-do about registering for school and I caved. Against my husband’s better judgement.

Shoulda been a sign.

And then my husband took a job in a different city 3 weeks before school was to start. And we didn’t find a place to live (leaving him commuting more than an hour each way) until 3 days before the first day of school.

Shoulda been a sign.

I was in the first trimester of my 4th pregnancy. Every morning I got 3 small children dressed and fed and drove 20 minutes (to the best school in the district - refused to put my 4 year old on a bus) and dropped my crying, hysterical child off with strangers who could care less. That’s how kindergarten goes.

“They have to grow up,” they said.
“They’ll eventually stop crying,” they said.
“He’ll love it,” they said.
“It’ll be great for your other children,” they said.
“You deserve it,” they said.
“He’ll listen better to someone other than his mother,” they said.
“You’re coddling him,” they said.
“You’ll ruin him,” they said.
“He needs to toughen up,” they said.

He cried and I cried. Then, my other 2 children stood by the door all day asking about their brother and when I picked him up from school he was hungry; and tired; and overwhelmed; and in trouble - Everyday. So, I scheduled appointments with the teacher and I was informed that she had “only a minute to talk” because her son had a football game to get to so I couldn’t glean from her if it was typical kindergarten adjustments or if it was him. Next, I signed up to volunteer and was told that I should allow the professionals to do their jobs because they’ve been trained and know best. I attended the PTA meetings and was treated like a first-timer that needed to wise up; get seasoned.

I brought my son home each afternoon with new papers declaring things like “name moved from good guys to bad guys” with no specifics of what to actually address. I went to meet him for lunch on his 5th birthday and realized they had 20 minutes to retrieve their tray, eat, and dump their trash. So, when he needed to potty, he didn’t get to finish eating. When we told him to put his chicken nuggets in his pocket so that he could eat them on the playground immediately following lunch he said, “Oh, no, I would get in a bunch of trouble for sneaking food.” He got in trouble at rest time for holding the 2 inch square of cloth that I had sprayed with my perfume to comfort him. In the mornings he begged me to not drop him off before the morning bell. They were to go out to the playground with all 6 of the other grades to play with 2 on-duty teachers. When we got home we did homework, reviewed his disciplinary action for the day, fed him, bathed him, and sent him to bed. We awoke the next morning to do it all again.

Shoulda been a sign.

At 8 weeks we finally prayed about what we were doing. And we brought him home - with no plan; no curriculum; no ammunition in our arsenal. We were armed only with our love for our son. Our feeling of what we were doing was finally right and we had the confidence that we know what’s best. I still don’t have a plan. I have hand-me-down curriculum. I have the internet. I have the Discovery Channel. I have ideas about someday ordering cool sets. I don’t know. Most days I question if I’m doing enough. Other days I question if I’m pushing too hard. I don’t know much about what I’m doing. But what I do know, we’ll go where the wind blows. I know that I love my children. I know that I don’t need a special degree to do that. I know that they’ve come so far in such a short time and I know that they astonish me constantly with what they’ve learned. I know that I love being with them. I know that they love being with each other. I don’t know how to do what I’m doing, but I know that what I’m doing is right. And I know that at the end of the day I love what I’m doing.

(i originally published this at heart of the matter)

HeSays »

these are the words that were whispered into my ear this morning by my honey when i whispered to him that our tooth fairy had forgotten to visit our son AGAIN last night for his 7th tooth lost.

you really should know this man.  hi.larious.

(and, yes, i am the same woman that was fired up about taco bell two days ago.  one was out there for kids to play and the other was, well, funny.  what can i say, i’m a girl of many contradictions.  and that’s why you love me.  really.)

Somethin' »

(we’ll get back to the moving the site thing later - right now, i want to post this on every site i have.)

i have a friend that posts on the homeschooling site with me.  she posted this message tonight.  i read it and i honestly thought, no offense girl friend!, that it couldn’t possibly be as bad as she described.  but it is. 

just in case you don’t follow the link i will recount her experience and what followed.  because i’m that mad.

in fact, i’ll just quote her and then i’ll tell you my story.

“You’re the Photographer

Just yesterday we went to Taco Bell. I wanted to be kind and get some tacos for the children. In the bag was Purple Taco Bell Hot Sauce packets. Purple? Well, that’s new. On the packet there was a website URL address. What is this I wonder? I type in the url and it takes me to a vitural photographer activity where YOU are the photographer and a string bikini clad model is waiting for you in a virtual setting. The object of the game is to snap some shots of her. No matter where on the screen you try to manuever the camera lens, it defaults you to her chest and behind. She glares sensually into the camera posing in sexually suggestive poses.

I am appalled!

So I call 1-800-TACO-BELL and speak to a representative and explain why this frustrates me and that I am concerned about children finding this website. She says, “Let me go to our site and see what I can find.” She types in tacobell.com and doesn’t see it, Yet when you click on the purple hot sauce packet it takes you there.

I told her that I will not be a patron at Taco Bell anymore unless this campaign stops immediately. I said, “How dare Taco Bell have an ad campaign like this! Not only is it innapropriate, but to add the link to this website to their own packets is just disgusting.”

Families who value any kind of decency should call their number and file their grievance.

She herself was upset at the description I gave her. She said she would be sure to let them know how I felt and I assured her other families would be calling her soon. So please call today. Families need to take a stand and let their voices be heard!”

so, being a little disbelieving and cynical i google taco bell.  just to make sure i have the real site.  yep.  i go the official site.  the site right now is built around this campaign.  big purple packet.  i click it.  i click that yes, i am up for the game.  and that’s it - i’m snapping shots of a model’s body parts in a string bikini.  maybe on the surface this is not that big of a deal in our current society.  except that i have children.  i have boys who will have to deal with these things.  i have a daughter that i have to train up differently than this girl who used to be somebody’s little 2 year old princess.  and it’s not like it’s a victoria’s secret site.  it’s fast food, people.  FAST FOOD.  they put the packet with the url right there on it in the sack.  not a flier with a “we’ll mail you something with the url.”  no.  it makes me furious.  from the magazines that are in walmart eye level and next to the candy at the check out to the wall-sized posters of the victoria’s secrets’ models facing into the mall to fast food.  i consider myself to be somewhat lenient and understanding.  we don’t wear ankle-length dresses around here.  i do go to the mall occasionally.  i read harry potter and i didn’t support the walt disney boycott.  (no offense, again, to all my friends who fit these categories!) but i will be calling 1-800-taco-bell during their business hours to complain.  and i will not be eating there until this is resolved.  and i will post this everywhere i can.  and i will beg y’all to make calls.  and i will make a difference for decency and i will attempt to make the world a little better for my little ones.  or at least to keep it from getting decidedly worse.  will you join me?

I'mPublished! »

yep.

and you can see just what on earth i was talking about over on Heart of the Matter…

TheySay »

my oldest had his magnadoodle lying on his chest for me to find. 

very fine, sir.

Much O' Nothin' »

i know, i know, we’ve been here before.  this time i’m taking a not-completely-non-money-related break.  i have realized that i’m spread too thin at this season.  i will focus more on looking at y’all’s sites and helping with the homeschooling sites.  i will sit and watch cinderella with my kids and celebrate, not just endure, this very busy season of everyone stuck inside and having a 2 year old and an almost 1 year old.  because right now, it’s kickin’ my boot-ay.  and i ‘ve prayed about it and need to refocus for just a while.  and my husband surprised me with an incredible valentine’s present - i will have my own domain name and will completely host my own site.  so i will be working behind the scenes to get that site up and going.  i will still blog as the inspiration hits and i will try to update on the kiddos when i can.  by all means, please don’t unlink me!!  and i’ll be sure to let you know when i’m back full time.  you know me, that could be 6 months or it could be tomorrow!  (and knowing me, it’ll probably be closer to tomorrow.)  i just need to take the pressure off.  it’s the equivalent of the weekly asking of my husband to tell me it’s perfectly okay to live in an absolutely funky disgusting house.  to which he always replies, “of course.”  and then he drives home to find the house in tip-top shape.  i just need to know that i have taken all the pressure away. 

so, i’ll be seein’ ya.  just on your sites more!