a friend of mine posted the other day about her 2 1/2 year old having nightime sleepy fear troubles. and asked what we do about it. so i thought i’d make it a post and put it in my 2 under 2 advice.
all three of mine so far have hit this “i’m scared of everything at bedtime” phase between 2 1/2 and 3 years old. i don’t know why – i’m not a shrink. and i don’t know if every toddler goes through it – it just hit all of mine. and i’m no expert, i just know what worked for us. ok, so, there’s my disclaimers.
i try to love ‘em through it. i try to think of how i feel when as an adult with adult reasoning i wake up scared in the middle of the night. i want to be held. i want to be told it’s gonna be okay. i want some truth to rest on. so we teach our little ones the verse “when i am afraid i will trust in You.” explaining that “You” is God. that no matter what, He loves us and doesn’t want us to be afraid. we’ve been careful not to teach that He’ll keep us safe or keep bad things from happening to us no matter what, because that’s not the truth and it will only lead to disillusionment down the road. don’t get me wrong, we don’t go into great detail at this age about all the bad things that happen, we just don’t sugar coat life. we teach them, through this verse, that He has our best interest at heart and doesn’t want anything bad to happen to us. we teach that monsters aren’t real (if that’s the issue they come up with). we let them look with us at the shadows in the room (if that’s what’s scaring them) and see that it’s really just a shirt hanging up. (a little on the obvious side) we remove anything at night (ever so subtly) that during the day is fine (a favorite dinosaur toy) but at night has teeth and eyes that might make us scared. likewise, we don’t watch things in the evening that during the day would be okay – star wars, spiderman, monsters, inc…. we tell them the Bible tells us to make our thoughts go to good and noble things – happy stuff that God gives us, because all good gifts come from Him, like birthday parties, nanas and grannas, what fun stuff we’ll do the next day – we sometimes sit with them and talk about one of these things at length at bedtime to turn their thoughts in this direction. we don’t just say, “there’s nothing to be afraid of” because i know all too well that my mind can give me plenty to be truly afraid of. and when all else fails we sit with them. until they go to sleep. repeatedly if need be. because like all the other phases this is a season. that’s real. it’s winter for them and they need comfort (like we need His rod and staff) until spring comes. and spring will come.
do we always succeed at being the right kind of parent that reflects His love for us? absolutely not. i fail repeatedly. what with my day starting before 5am, being aware of the baby sleeping on my arm through the night, having multiple little ones that have nightmares, and “itchies”, and growing pains, and just want to sleep touching some part of me. not to mention endless days of laundry, dishes, diapers, feedings, and fits. oh, i fail. but i try. and, as with all the other stuff, i’m learning. my poor first child. my coddled fourth child. i’m trying to do what God does for me. and be merciful each morning. and give songs in the night.
