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i hope my words will be soothing to your soul… these are a few things i’ve learned the hard way. it didn’t come easily or naturally for me. i’m a worrier by nature. but, time and finding others who’ve gone before me and applying scripture to everything has helped. i haven’t arrived, but i am further along the path than i was. and i’d like to offer a hand if you feel like you’re falling further behind. once again, quit reading the books and magazines. they only make you over-think everything. and you really don’t need to. this is not a project that you get right or wrong. it’s your life you’re living. so live it. you won’t become a new person after having kids. you’re still you. parent the same way you’ve done everything else. if that includes being serious most of the time (like me) then you’ll be a fairly serious mom. and that’s okay. if that means you were the class clown (like my husband) then be that person with your kids. just be you. quit trying so hard. it’s not a class you get an A in. relax. every morning there are new mercies. and for good reasons. there are few black and whites in parenting. as my friend said the other night, “don’t beat your children. if you shake them, you could hurt them.” hello. if you really love them and you’re really trying to not scream constantly – it will all work out. just love ‘em. and cut yourself some slack. it’s a phase. they won’t bite forever. they won’t paint on the house forever. as much as it sometimes felt like my youngest would scream in colic forever – he didn’t. and how long has that really been? i’ve said it before. blink. and it’s gone. sometimes it just feels like WAY longer. and usually that’s because you don’t have the experience to know that it will end. and usually with minimal effort on your part. yes, you have to discipline. yes, i have to tell her “no” and “don’t” a bazillion times a day. but one day i’ll wake up and think, “huh, she hasn’t painted the house in a few months.” “huh, look how well they love on the kitty now. how did that happen? because i KNOW everything i tried didn’t work.” but it did. don’t get me wrong. i still have to talk to myself sometimes. “my laundry won’t always be this bad. just when i started going through 6 years of clothes kept for 4 children, my washer broke. and then i had a birthday party, family over twice, 2 soccer practices, my husband’s vacation, and 2 soccer games. HELLO?!” and now with patience, persistence, and perspective i can see parts of my laundry room and kitchen floor. it will pass. do what you must to survive. love ‘em, survive, and try to find the cutesy stuff. you’re gonna screw up. it’s a given. just get up. and try again. if you love ‘em, it will work out. yesterday i read this.
and i thought, i haven’t posted much about the antics of my girl lately. not that there aren’t antics. oh, there’re antics. i’m just so fed up with her antics most of the time, that i don’t find it very cutesy. and there’s so many to choose from. so i thought i’d try out live-blogging for a while. i’ll try to post pics as i go. starting with last night:
foam stickers from maury (thanks!) can you tell that half of them are actually stuck to the floor?
8am: cheese whiz and crackers smeared and intentionally crumbled everywhere.
8:25am: t-shirt paint (oh, so easy to remove) painted on the siding on the house. done while i ran in for “just a second” to rinse a brush for the boys.
9:34 am: 4th clothes change of the day.
9:54am: “please be gentle with daisy. don’t be rough. be nice to her. stop. STOP!” followed by, “SHUT IT UP, MAMA! MEAN MAMA!”
10:42am: prepare for naptime. hiding from me when i tell her to get in her bed.
10:43am: fit follows when i tell her to get a pull-up on.
10:54am-12:47pm: peace and napping 12:49pm: please be gentle with your baby brother. please. stop. stop! STOP SQUISHING HIM!
2:01pm: after 2 full fits because she couldn’t have treats or the dirty thermos she wanted and yet another clothes change she dances with her princess ”packpack” and “beekah” (her lovey lamb)
3:25pm: gets a shower with mama to keep her from harming her little brother. 3:36pm: after insisting 427 times that she wants to be wrapped around in the towel she goes into the living room and dances in her towel singing Jesus loves me. 3:39pm: has meltdown over not wanting to wear the first outfit i pick out for her for the soccer field. 3:41pm: twirls and says “i strawberry cupcake” in the second outfit i pick out for her.
3:51pm: am reminded by boys that i promised them a pudding snack after chores. i tell my girl that i have to take her cupcake outfit back off. megafit. “do you want outfit or snack?” BOTH! you can have your outfit right back on after your snack. calm. 3:54pm: re-clean. re-dress. 5:30-6:15pm: soccer practice. “can i have crackers” x 5 billion. “i want more wa-yer” x 5 billion and 1. “pick up me” x 3. 6:25pm: getting in the car. mega battle.
i won. 6:45pm: in van. full scream. something about an ant and her yittle booty bottom. we pull over. i get her out, strip her naked, indeed find an ant biting her there. kill the ant, re-dress, rebuckle. 7:40pm: home. bath number 3. “where my yittle coco?” x 8. the teeth clamp down for brushing. “no coco until you get your teeth brushed.” i won. (it may sound out of order, but i assure you that it’s not.) 7:55pm: melt down over pajamas sticking to her wet body after i tell her to not get dressed until i get back. meltdown over having to wear a pullup to bed. after much screaming – a little on my part, “when you can show me in the morning that you didn’t peepee in your pullup then you can wear big girl under wear to bed.” i won. 8pm: into the crib. “where my yittle pacis?” x 15. “where my yittle heat pack?” yes, we heat a heat pack for her “yittle” feet most nights. she won. 8:24pm: silence from her crib. night, night my whirlwind princess.
update: in a completely passive/aggressive move i left her on the porch for fear of accidental release. i think she fried in the greenhouse effect. but for further fear of her tricking me – she is still sitting in the exact same place with a threat of death to the children to not touch the jar. i think they believe me. i’m aware that i’m probably warping them for life. and? i found this while doing all that laundry from the shed.
it has what i think is an egg sack attached. i’ve learned the hard way not to smush one of these (my nightmare multiplies by, like, 10 billion). and unlike my friend who thinks spiders are worthy of great writing and then get this, lets them go, i will find a very inhumane way to slaughter it. after screaming like an idiot and hyperventilating i caught the spider in a jar (thanks to another friend’s insistent advice). and then realized i had no lid for the jar. so i set my husband’s huge toolbox on top of the jar to secure the spider while i figured out what to do. shaking, i slipped cardboard underneath and then managed to flip it upside down and rubberband saran wrap on top. after almost throwing up a little i got it outside. where i could take a picture, because, of course, after capturing your nightmare what else do you do, but blog about it?
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