i’ve been watching a discussion for a little while amongst some friends.  it’s about attending church.  i think, within our group, it started with jeff here.  and then misty here.  and k.t. here.  and shelley here.  i don’t know if i left anybody out or not, if i did, please link your site in my comments – it was not intentional.  it has turned out to be a really good discussion and, i think, very enlightening. 

i’ve watched mainly from afar with the exception of a very bland encouraging comment.  i don’t like arguments.  i don’t like making waves.  it makes me uneasy.  (i do it anyway, but usually only because i want desperately to reach someone, not just for sport.)  but something about the line of comments on k.t.’s site unsettled me.  it’s a discussion my honey and i have had many times as we’ve tried to find our place in following Christ.  we were both christians that quit going to church for whatever reasons, many that i recognized in k.t.’s list.  we felt called back when we had kids.  we felt like it was what we were “supposed” to do.  we felt a genuine nudge.  it was a combination of things.  so back we went.  to a church that just “did church” every week.  but we were faithful and i was there with however many kiddos we had at the time everytime the doors were open even while my hubby worked nights.  many issues.  many, many, many issues.  one that stands out – my first sunday back after having baby number 2 (3 weeks post-partum) with baby in tow, we were late (imagine that – 19 month old and newborn).  it was mother’s day.  we walked in the back and there was nowhere to sit.  we took the very back pew.  we were approached, asked to get up and move to a folding chair that my honey had to go get because we were sitting in the deacons’ seats.  they then proceeded to sit there for approximately 10 minutes before they went to collect the tithe and then went back to where they normally sit in the pews.  WHAT?!  that’s just one.  i could write a book on the insanities i’ve encountered in the mere 4 years that i’ve been attending church.  i didn’t grow up in church so the whole church sub-culture is new to me.  business meetings gone awry over a bus?  parking spaces that are “claimed”?  “what do you mean you don’t want to put your newborn in the nursery?”  “you don’t have a bottle?!”  “so, who are you, where do you come from, it was good to have you 2 weeks ago, but where were you last week?”  “surprise!  we found where you live from a friend of a friend of a friend’s cousin and sunday night is ‘visitation’ so here we are unannounced to sit in your living room and spout church words at you like ‘are you saved?’, ‘if you died tomorrow…’, ‘well, the baptist, methodist, presbyterian, church of christ, (insert random denomination here), is actually THE right church to attend because blahblahblahblah…”  and since i didn’t grow up with “churchy” words i’m alway baffled by them and what i know comes from reading the bible and really searching to know what’s real and right.  and i’ve come to be able to spot plastic regurgitated church words with a disgusted efficiency.  and let me tell you something, people who don’t know Christ and what He taught, can too.  they may not know what’s true, but they do know what’s fake.  and when you come bashing them over the head with what you were taught growing up, but have never researched for yourself, you offend.  you send away.  if they want religion, they can find it easily on any corner, they don’t need yours.  and somehow the discussions i was seeing were eerily close to religious spouting and not real “here’s how my life was changed, can i help you or encourage you in some way?” 

and i’m fully aware that i’m probably offending right now.  but it’s who i’m offending and for what purpose that really matters to me.  if i’m offending Christ-followers then you’ll understand, even if i make you mad, that my heart is for those who need what you already have.

we started going to journey after the “doing church” church.  and we were amazed.  they had rethought church as we know it.  and they are truly trying to learn what Jesus said and trying to figure out what that looks like in their lives.  we’ve moved now and are attending a church that is of the same model as journey. 

so, i read, i reacted and i spouted, myself.  should i have said all those things?  probably.  should i have done it without prayer and patience?  probably not.  but i do think it’s worth the discussion and i thank all of you who’ve put in your two cents.  anything that leads us to ask “who is this Christ you’re spouting about?” is worth it.  i just ask you to not take any words, most importantly mine, as truth.  go read and ask and search and study.  and not just the bible.  all sources you can.  because if the truth is what you really want…  it’s out there.  and you’ll find it.  i know you will.

and to see a response at the end of it all that was said so much better than mine go back to jeff’s site to see his follow-up.  very well said.

more to add?  i’d love to hear it…  just don’t take my lead – unlike me, you should probably be nice!