my honey’s gone out with a friend tonight and all the babies are sleeping peacefully. i’m only a tv fiend when i have him to watch with me. so, unfortunately, that leaves me lots of quiet time to think. it’s unfortunate because i’m not used to it. the peace is good, but lonely. sure, there are lots of things i could be doing – laundry, dishes, picking up, studying the Word, reading, resting, but i just don’t really feel like doing any of them. i actually sat down to work on my header and started going back through old pics to see if i wanted to use any of them and was floored. we got the camera last winter and i was amazed at how much the kids have changed in a few short months. and how much everything has changed – the move, the van, the pregnancy, my mental state, starting homeschooling. and the word that kept coming to mind was “how?” how am i so blessed? how did we get here? how have they gotten so big? how have i not noticed? they’re all so beautiful. and i’m finally so at peace with my parenting (even with all my mistakes). i look at my 5 year old and wonder how his early years were filled with such turmoil. how he came through it. and how i came through it. and how much more innocent he is now. i’ve finally allowed him to be a kid. to just be little. and how he’s succeeded at that. i look at my 4 year old and wonder how my baby has become my second oldest. how has he lost even the look of my baby? and how did i miss so much of his babyhood being so stressed out? he’s so tender. and how has my only daughter grown hair in 5 months? how have her looks changed so much and yet her personality hasn’t budged a bit from this day or this one? how do i have an only daughter? how have i been graced with such great little men and one beautiful little lady? and my newest little one. i was just pregnant with him. he was just born. he was just wrinkly. how has he gotten so big so quickly. all of the wiser parents that have seen their little ones fly off always say, “don’t blink or they’ll be gone. they grow up before you know it.” and although i’ve always embraced this i hadn’t lived it yet. and now, here i’ve gone and blinked.
