Somethin' »

and found comfort.

i’m still crying.

if you know my oldest son and you know my heart, then you know my pain and comfort in this post. there are others.

go here: Notes From The Trenches - the things we don’t write about

Understanding »

it’s a wonderful thing!

speaking of blessings, two nights in a row i have gotten 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep! that hasn’t happened in well over a year. aaahh. rest. how wonderful. now, if i can just get my children as exhausted as this everyday of the year!

TheFriends »

the grand bash has been hinted about in many places, but not openly addressed. why yes, i am always up for a good party! are ya kiddin’ me?! however, seeing as how we are leaving this residence on saturday, yes, that is approximately 3 days away, and i have yet to get my new utilities turned on, mail transferred, or my house sufficiently packed or cleaned, i am a’feared that the much anticipated shindig will have to happen after we are no longer here. mandy has offered up, with a tiny suggestion, her abode for the fun. and we will probably wait until clayton’s day off hits a weekend (since my husband would be sorely disappointed to miss him!). plus, that will get all of us mamas through the first couple of weeks of school. not to mention, it will give all you monticellonians a wonderful chance to save for and plan meticulously for the extravagant food and beverages that should flow at a parker party. so, come on, people, get to plannin’! the kids want cheese pizza. mark likes the tgifriday’s spinach artichoke dip, pearl’s fond of mandy’s parmesan chicken, lee, mandy and i are a little more than fond of any dessert with chocolate in it, and taylor, pull out all the stops we need some fine food, man! the captain must be served to a certain trooper and his ride-along buddy, the vino will be well appreciated by many, and i might even step up to one good glass of the blackberry! let’s do it!

ps, for a more informal get-together we are having one last sale/giveaway this friday and saturday and we will be packing a u-haul on saturday. come join the fun without the leisure!

Somethin' »

i just rolled down through my previous posts, checking for new comments, and something hit me. why don’t i learn?

the progression of the posts: grumble. disbelief - how’s this gonna work? grumble. realization. beginning of belief. gratitude. ready to step out. blessings.

wow. every time. and there are always every times. you think i would get it by now. i always love it when people are astounded by the hard-headedness of the israelites in the desert. i’m not at all. i’d have fit right in. obviously.

as usual, i am now ready to set up my altar to the Lord for His blessings. you know, until the next trial comes. [which by the way, is probably about 4 days away ]

TheKiddos »

i have to hurry because my daughter has already been hit in the nose with a light saber while i’ve been sitting here.

WE HAVE KEYS TO A DUPLEX IN OUR POSSESSION!!! we move this weekend. it’s not the hood. they have hourly police patrols. it’s not too far from our oldest’s school and not far at all from pearl’s work. it’s right at our price range (not the arm and leg we were gonna have). not a terrible deposit. it’s 2 bedroom so we’ll be cozy :). and if the usda home loan goes through we can get out of our lease. the landlord is a family friend of pearl’s parents. thank you, brandon.

i don’t have to have original paperwork to register my son (i’ve lost his birth certificate in the move). i can just take copies.

i go tomorrow to him and then to kindergarten orientation tomorrow night.

wednesday at 2p i have a consultation appointment with a certified nurse midwife in.

now, for money to move. a church home. and friends. you know, more of the small stuff. but, good grief, He’s already handled so much, i’m not quite so worried anymore! thanks for your prayers. more later. i have packing to do. and rescuing of a girl.

TheFriends »

this is in gratitude to the amazing comments on the last wednesday update post.

-lou-
are you kidding me? you, of all people, would breeze through this like it’s nothin’, girl, you’ve taught me already to go with the flow.

-k.t.-
the words are sweet and the action-on-the-ready is even better. thank you for being here.

-carolyn-
a real lunch would be even better! sans kids! your excitement to see how God will provide actually stirred a little excitement in me!

-lee ann-
i like somebody that will let me cry! and where are those drinks and appetizers?

-becky-
tell your mom thanks. it made me smile! what more could i ask for? and when she tells me that things work out, that’s a woman i believe. she’s been here, done this with laughter and style!

-angelina-
i’m glad you reminded me, because i had forgotten what i was made of. it’s been a long time and you begin to think it’s mush instead. the wooden cube things were one of the few things we actually sold, sorry.

-mandy-
it’s hard to take off my cape. there are, after all, 3 little people that think i’m invincible. i have not thought, even once, that this is yet another season. where am is my head, when i can’t remember that? and, at this rate, i may call you to catch this baby!

-mark-
pandaemonium. now THAT’S a blog name! even when i make it through this, once i add the newest parker i may very well make that my new blog! life does, doesn’t it? and, look, i haven’t even added one hour to my life.

-phillip-
you made me cry. again. that was after laughing out loud at the pregnant and moving comment! how do you do it, laugh and cry in the same thirty seconds? oh, wait, i’m pregnant. your prayer was so encouraging. i know y’all are praying for us, but to see it was so much more.

-brandon-
thanks, man, for reaching out. i think pearl has plans to call you. we need a place to rent for less than the arm and leg that is required by most realtors in the area. did i mention that we need to move in this friday? for that, i might be willing to give up my little finger, but more appendages than that are gonna drive us into the hood.

-no, no place yet. we have spent 2 days of this weekend reading papers, calling people, driving around, looking at places. believe me, we are doing everything we can do. and since the weekly rate at the local motel is close to $400, we’re not sure. God just hasn’t dropped “the one” into our laps yet. but, rest assured, we have no choice but to roll out of this house, if not friday, saturday at the latest. we’re goin’ somewhere. God told abraham to go. with little directions. but he went. and then was told. so, hang on to your hats, we’re a’goin’!!

Somethin' »

last night, as i was driving home at 11p (and drifting in and out of sleep) this song came on the radio. i called pearl, who was right behind me in his car and trying to help me stay awake, and told him to switch his station to mine that, “our song [was] playing.” 3 years ago, this song moved us. literally. but it also just holds such a special place in our hearts. so i listened out of reminiscence. and was floored. if you’re like me, you’ll want to skim the lyrics. please don’t. read, with our current situation in mind, and be floored with me. i love Him, for He gives me songs in the night.

“Voice of Truth”

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I’m in
on to the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He’s holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. “Boy, you’ll never win!”
“You’ll never win!”

Chorus:
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
And the Voice of Truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes
to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone

Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they’d have had the strength to stand

But the giant’s calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. “Boy you’ll never win!”
“You’ll never win!”

Chorus:
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
And the Voice of Truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don’t seem so high
On top of them lookin’ down
I soar with the wings of EAGLES
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

Chorus:
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
And the Voice of Truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe-

I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
Cause Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you, you are-

Somethin', TheKiddos »

no house/apt/home yet. a couple of leads but nothing finalized. we’re not excited about living deep in the hood again with the smell of meth cooking behind us, execution style murders down the road, and drunks refusing to leave your porch. but it’s also hard to pay the $300 more a month that it costs to escape the fun of the hood. so we’re trying to figure out what bills we can cut and what we can do.

pearl’s enjoying the job, if a little tired. they have 400 computers to install in 2 weeks. so far i think he’s installed (from the box) about 85 in 4 days.

the rush to move is on, the drive is costing about $20 a day and we’re 10 days from school starting.

we have officially decided which of the 4 elementaries that we’re going to put our soon to be kindergartener in and feel good about the decision. i have to go register him in person (they can’t transfer the info from here) next week. and he’ll test with his classmates on time.

we’ve had one garage sale and made about $160, not bad for impromptu. we’re trying to sell so much furniture right now - to make money to move, to not have to move it again, and to make room for a much smaller place. (if you know anybody who wants it - send ‘em our way.)

i’m still looking for a doctor. generally speaking, if you want good healthcare you can’t have medicaid. but we’re still trying. i just don’t think i can go back to our last hospital after the fun we had with delivering our girl. we’re researching certified nurse-midwives. but we’ll see.

the packing is going slowly. it’s hard to get a 1st trimester woman in gear. believe me!
my belly is continuing to grow. i read today in a pregnancy magazine that you normally begin to show around 12-13 weeks. i’m 8 weeks. ha ha! but it did go on to say that if it’s not your first that you can start showing as soon as 6 weeks. my honey laughed and said, “more like 6 minutes!” yeah.
i’m really struggling to stay positive. that’s why i can’t bring myself to post anything very revealing, because what’s to be revealed is not pretty. i’m trying to get my mind right, boss, but it ain’t easy. it really doesn’t help that i have 2 sick kids (which equals 2 non-sleeping kids) and one that picks up on stress like nobody’s business (which equals 1 non-sleeping kid). therefore, with everything else i now have about 4 hours of broken sleep (with an hour of awakeness in the middle of it) working for me. i’m trying to stay upbeat. i’m sorry it’s so down tonight, i just thought a little honesty instead of avoidance would help. i’m always harping on being real and how that will reach people, but it’s really hard when the realness is not what it should be. so here’s to keepin’ it real.
i’ll try to let you know what all is going on with me again soon. and maybe next time it won’t be a pity party.

Somethin' »

i just figured out why phillip hasn’t put a new post up yet!
i skipped over to his site for the 1500th time to see if he had posted and glanced down at the post before last. “rejoicing during trials”. see, it’s all my fault. if i had gotten this lesson at the time he posted it we would be able to move on and be blessed with a new post. seeing as how i’m grumbling in the midst of the manna and wishing for the leeks of egypt, not to mention feeling like a grasshopper in the sight of the giants of moving the week before kindergarten i think i need to get his message. really get it.

or maybe i just need to go read the title of the post before last of his beautiful wife!

TheySay »

often in my house…
(translations included)

~mama, will you wipe me?
~mama, she stinks.
~mama, where’s my purple light saber?
~mama, tan i have 2 teats? (can i have 2 treats?)
~mama, i want peent milt. (i want pink milk)
~i don’t want to eat that! (as whiny as you can imagine.)
~bad mama, bad mama.
~i hate you.
~baahh maaann. (batman. said for every superhero, by the girl in the family)
~daddy, did you bring us a teat. (treat)
~look, mama, i’m superman/obi wan/batman/spiderman/(and most recently) bibleman.
~we tan bote be piderman. (we can both be spiderman)
~no, we can’t both be, I’LL be spiderman you be robin.
~NOOOOOOO!!!
~i dot to peepee in the potty, mama. (got)
~mamamamamama (said smirkingly by a girl while she plays in the potty/dumps fried onions on the floor/pulls the cat’s hair)
~it NOT bedtime!
~mama, tell noah to stop hitting/spitting on/pinching/chasing me.
~mama, will you get me over the gate to go upstairs?
~mama, will you get me over the gate to come downstairs?
~ooh, i ‘mell tometing ‘tinty! (something stinky)
~mama,can i watch cartoons/star wars?
~mama,can we go outside? i don’t care that it’s hot.
~hhaaahh, wwooooww, mamamama, shsshhhh. (no clue)