can you hear the madden game? “he didn’t get it.”
ok, i bawled for an hour. even on the phone with matt when i should have been encouraging. most of the time i don’t get involved in the business part of our marriage – that’s his job and i have too much to do just battling the army of ants that threaten a takeover of our living room every morning. but this time i just knew we had it. i was already cleaning with organization of a move. i couldn’t believe it. and i didn’t post yesterday because i didn’t want to hear what i already knew, God has it, He closed it, it’s not the right time. i know these things, i just wanted to swim in my misery for a while a la elijah’s runaway after jezebel’s botched murder attempt. he cried, slept, cried, slept, God fed him and let him be miserable for a while and when elijah was still whining about being God’s only prophet (when there were, like, 300 actually) then God said, “what are you doing?” that’s me. i just wanted to cry. and in the midst of talking to God about my feelings i realized i was thankful for the quick answer and for delivering us from whatever He was protecting us from. and the thankfulness spread. by the time my honey walked in the door he said he was just relieved that the stress of the wait was over. we could move on. the relief in the house is now tangible. but let me say again, this was not my initial response. i was hysterical for an hour and then cried and moped for at least another hour and a half. please don’t read this post as a holier than thou, “i knew just what to do and did it and look at how great i am.” not by far. i’m just saying don’t pity me now. because i did it enough in 3 hours for all of you! and please look at the big picture – it’s just a job. we’ve been here a million times before. God has provided more in times of less for us. please. it’s truly alright. i just wanted to update everybody. thanks for the prayers and the interest. now, on to the important stuff – ending the world war III battle raging between my boys over who knows what!
i posted this and then got this email from pearl. i love being in one accord. he says stuff so much better than me!
There is no struggle.
>
> I keed. I keed.
>
> I am happy to be where I am.
> Broke?
> So what.
> I am well acquainted with broke.
> I am comfortable with broke.
> I am not sure that I would respond well to non-broke.
>
> You see, I believe that I am living out my little story, which ties in with
> the big picture, the Epic (if you will) that is life. I am happy with my
> role thus far.
> I am a subplot to the subplot to the subplot that is the Epic.
> It’s a good place.
> All the world is a stage, and we are but actors.
> I like being “Singing Navy Bean #7″ WAY better than the lead role of “Peter
> Rabbit”.
>
> Selah.
