July 22nd, 2006
i’ve noticed in the last few weeks that fear keeps coming up. in my close ring of blogs and in my conversations. and i’ve been thinking for a while, as verses come to my head, that i should let those verses out so that they can comfort others and not just me. this is near to my heart because i used to struggle with severe fear. just a few of the fears i battled constantly were… fear of aliens, fear of being abducted. fear of my closet – the point that when i got married i still wouldn’t go to bed with the closet door open. in high school i would flip the light off at my door and run to my bed and jump on it -really – i didn’t want to get close to the underside of the bed. i was afraid of being raped. i locked my car doors the instant i got in the car. only after checking the underneath of the car before i approached and then the backseat and floorboards before i got in and sat down. when i had jonah i was immobilized with fear the first week he was home – sids, i would do something wrong, i would hurt him. when i began to study the Bible i began to be afraid of demons and the battle raging around us. i was afraid of dying and losing my familly. when i lived in dollarway and matt worked nights i was afraid of the crime all around and that it would reach me. all of that’s besides being afraid of people not liking me, on not fitting in. and with the current possibility of megeddo on our doorstep in israel, well… it goes on.
and then my husband started talking to me about the “whys”. he prompted a self-examination of my fears. and in that searching myself i began to find what God said about my fears. it’s not that they’re not legitimate, to the contrary, most are. it’s that God had very specific things to say about fear and our response to them. i internalized them, spent time with them and then while studying revelation (with the help of david jeremiah), my view of why we’re here on earth began to shift. i began to see the world through a different off-balance view from what i had known before. the fears weren’t dispelled or promised away. not at all. but i suddenly had God’s view of them. and a different perspective. do they still come ’round? of course. but they don’t own me. and i’m free. here’s how.
~Genesis 50:21
“So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.
~Exodus 20:20
Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid; for God has come in order to test you, and in order that the fear of Him may remain with you, so that you may not sin.”
~Deuteronomy 20:3-4
“He shall say to them, ‘Hear, O Israel, you are approaching the battle against your enemies today. Do not be fainthearted. Do not be afraid, or panic, or tremble before them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you.’
~Matthew 17:7
And Jesus came to them and touched them and said, “Get up, and do not be afraid.”
~Hebrews 13:6,8
so that we confidently say, “The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid, what will man do to me?” Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and today and forever.
~1 John 4:18a
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear
~Romans 8:15
For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!”
as always, look these up and read them in context – it only gets better. and look up fear and afraid in the back of your Bible. it’s overflowing. this is not new to the human race. neither is His response to it. read and enjoy his comfort! and spread the joy!
July 21st, 2006
i just finished having lunch with a ring of bloggers. brittany; shaun, brittany’s hubby; mandy; lou; lee ann;and taylor. fun stuff!! thanks for making my noontime a treat! now off to naptime!
July 20th, 2006
finding joy – a small group mission
our wednesday night women’s small group is discussing the fruit of the spirit in our lives. (galatians 5:22) and this week we started a lesson called “finding joy” (women of faith bible study series). the group was asked to list something that brought them joy in the last week no matter how big or small, that i could share with everybody. the colorful card list of joy-bringers brought me yet more joy as i went through them. here they are and may they bring you joy!
~Brandy
1. Fresh baked chocolate chip cookies shared with my family.
2. The Ground! (after 3 long flights from New York).
~Lou
Gaining friends that are positive influence instead of negative. It has been great to have friends who care and hold you accountable.
~Tammie
Praying for people I did not know and will probably never meet again – the unselfishness of it brought me joy.
~Me
I am Pregnant!
~
My joy comes from my family. I was able to talk to my husband and learn more about God’s love. Which makes me love life.
~Lee Ann
I really enjoyed playing with Taylor’s nephew, Eli! He’s soooo cute!
~ “Betsy”
God has finally brought me to a great church. Mine and Chris’s creation is almost here! Therefore – JOY!
~Mandy
Madison and Carter cuddling on the couch.
we discussed things that can bust our joy – discontent, despair, sin and guilt, feeling abandoned by God, grief, depression, weariness, busyness, worry, betrayal. and then identified our current and chronic joy-busters. we brainstormed ways to prevent those things from stopping our joy – pray, call a friend, focus on someone else’s needs, do something fun, share a laugh; find something to be grateful for, memorize applicable scripture.
and then we picked at least one thing from that list we would do strategically this week to find our joy. we closed by praying for those exact things in each woman’s life. and then to cultivate joy by watching for funny things this week and sharing them with one of the other women, share a laugh, call someone who has a lot of joy in their life and ask what their “secrets” are.
~My soul, wait in silence for God only. For my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation. My stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and my glory rest; the rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.~Psalm 62:5-8
July 19th, 2006
some of you will be interested in this new weekly installment and some could care less, so for those who care less – learn to skip wednesdays and for those of you who are interested be sure to tune in.
we start week 5 today. 35 weeks to go. our estimated due date (edd) is march 21 – which, incidentally is also my birthday. i now know what my parents were doing 30 years ago on june 28 (the same thing i was doing this year.) okay, i agree, that part is a little too much information. moving on.
the organs and systems began development in the last few weeks. the heart is a four chambered organ that begins pumping blood and beating that oh-so-fast baby beat this week. and the umbilical cord begins forming this week. at this point the baby is still called an embryo.
i’m doing well, i’ve been broken out like a 16 year old for weeks now – this is always my first sign. the tired is sneaking up on me, but you know, how would i be able to distinguish that from the four-year-old-is-insecure-and-needs-mama-in-the-middle-of-the-night, the three-year-old-is-out-of-pull-ups-and-wetting-his-bed-almost-nightly, and the 14-month-old-is-cutting-four-teeth-at-once-plus-15-mosquito-bites tired? no, my nursing apparatuses are not tender because i just weaned oh, a month ago! so, at least, that’s another good thing. my sense of smell seems to be getting stronger again, but it’s just a hunch. approximately 5 times a day i say, “ew, what’s that smell, it’s terrible. whatd’ya mean ‘what smell?’ don’t you smell that? regardless, someone HAS to make it go away.” i’m not really sick to my stomach yet. occasionally i think, “ew, i’m not feeling well, and then i remember that i had a spicy chicken crunch wrap supreme at 10pm. i am feeling the cramp of the stretching of the ligaments around the baby. as if anything has to actually stretch anymore. puh-lease. i think i could wear maternity clothes right now. and the crying. oh the weepiness. oh the horrors. THAT is in full effect. and yet, i love this.
i’m not mid-wiving. (or is it mid-wifing?) i just had the difference explained to me between a nurse midwife and a lay midwife. we only have lay midwives in arkansas – is my understanding. and they only do home deliveries. me and hubby not wild about the how many miles are we from the hospital emergency discussion. so, 4 babies in, and i’m lookin’ for a doctor as if it’s my first. and now, they’re really gonna hate me, ’cause i ain’t no push-over no more. i know what’s comin’ and just how i want it caught. so here’s to findin’ a doctor and a hospital that will actually listen to me.
~a bonus this week~
my pregnancy in numbers
this is my 4th child in 4 years.
when this baby is born i will have a 5 yr old, a 3 yr old, and a 1 yr old. within a month, i will have a 5 year old, a newborn, a 4 year old birthday party and a 2 year old birthday party.
i have had 5 periods since december of 2000 – 6 years.
when the doctor asks me when the first day of my last period was, my answer will be, “june 2004.”
in six years i’ve been pregnant a total of 28 months so far. that’s roughly 850 days of my life. so far. by the end of this one it will be 64 months = roughly 1,934 days.
i’ve nursed a total 40 months so far. that’s 3 years and 4 months. i hope to nurse at least a year, probably more since it will be my last so that will be a minimum of 52 months, 1,466 days.
but, it’s just life to me, it doesn’t feel like it’s all that crazy until i put it down in print. wow.
July 18th, 2006
a short list of things probably not to say to a pregnant woman. especially when it’s her fourth and her oldest is 4.
1. “have you ever heard of birth control?”
2. “i can tell ya what’ll fix that problem for ya.”
3. “you have your hands full, don’t ya?”
4. “those are all yours?”
5. “oh, i’m sorry.”
6. “did you mean to have them all?”
7. “do you ever worry there’s not enough time for them all?”
8. “wow, you must be really lucky to have enough money to stay home with that many children.”
9. “NONE of them go to school yet?”
~and my personal favorite…
10. “you know what causes that don’t ya?”
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